History Repeated
by drovers-sunrise
Summary: [COMPLETE]One night of passion turns into much more for Tess McLeod. Please read and review.
1. Hooked On A Feeling

**History Repeated Part 1: Hooked On a Feeling**

"I'll race you home, Tess!" Charlotte called as she took off down one of Melbourne's busy streets, leaving her Aunty to carry the dozens of shopping bags which had been accumulated during the day.

"BOM!" Tess called as she saw her niece vanish around the corner. She wasn't exactly a spring chicken anymore, she was 39. On days like today, she felt her age.

Whilst still running, Charlotte was looking back, trying to figure out what was taking Tess so long. She had only turned back for an instant, but that was all it took for her to collide with someone in the middle of the walkway.

She cursed under her breath. Looking up, ready to apologise, she gasped. A smile broke out across her face, "Uncle Nick!" She threw her arms around him, "What are you doing here?"

He smiled down at her, "I'm down here on business.... what are you doing running down the streets of Melbourne, Miss McLeod? Does Tess know where you are?"

Charlotte smiled, "I was actually racing her home. Talk about slow."

As if on cue, Tess rounded the corner. She was huffing and puffing.

"BOM!" Tess exclaimed as she hobbled down the busy walkway trying to keep up with her twelve year old niece. "How am I meant to race you home when I am carrying all these bags! Most of which belong to you..."

Tess trailed off before she could finish what she had intended to say. An Akubra hat wasn't a usual sight in the middle of Melbourne. She knew that the figure before her had to be from the country.

She knew instantly who it was. She hadn't looked into his face yet, she couldn't. She needed to let her emotions settle, after all, they had done their best to avoid each other since their divorce. They hadn't seen each other for years.

She took a deep breath as her eyes shifted from his Akubra, down to his face. Sure enough it was him, Nick Ryan.

"Nick," She gasped for air, not only because she had been trying to keep up with Charlotte, but because all the air had been drained out of her body when she had spotted her ex-husband.

Seeing her struggle with the bags, Nick moved forward to help her, "You need a hand?"

Tess took a step back as Nick got a little too close for comfort, "It's fine," She told him.

He smiled down at her, "If you say so, Tess."

"Charlotte will help, won't you Charlotte?" Tess continued, hoping her niece would do as she asked.

But Charlotte's attention was somewhere else.

"Charlotte?" Tess hoped to get through to her.

"Dale's over there," Charlotte said as she waved frantically at him and smiled.

"Well that's nice," Tess said, trying not to care. " Now help with these bags, please."

"I'm just going to go say hello, I need to ask him something about Starlight," And with that she bolted across the road to where Dale was sitting outside a café.

"Well you could've asked Nick" Tess mumbled, "He knows horses too ya know."

"Shit!" Tess growled as she watched Charlotte throw her arms around Dale, as he stood up to greet her.

"Friend of yours?" Nick asked as he watched the pair interact.

Tess sighed, "He's my ex actually. The bastard neglected to tell me he had a wife and a newborn. Lucky me, I got to bump into them in the middle of Coles. It was a lovely surprise." Sarcasm dripped from Tess' voice. "The curse of the McLeod's. It happened to Claire, then me. The only difference is that I didn't wind up pregnant."

Nick just nodded. He didn't really think it was his place to comment.

"Charlotte!" Tess called loudly. "Charlotte, we're going!"

"Hang on!" Charlotte hollered back.

"Who's that with Tess?" Dale asked

"Oh that's Uncle Nick," She explained.

"Nick? As in her ex husband?"

"Yeah, Uncle Nick," She grinned. "He's so cool. You know you and him would have a lot in common, he's into horses too, not as much as Uncle Alex though."

"I thought she didn't see him anymore?" Dale's eyes were fixed on Tess as he watched her talk awkwardly with Nick.

"Oh no she doesn't. She hasn't seen him since we moved here, we just bumped into him"

"You fancy coming out riding with me, Char?" Dale asked as he turned his attention back to the young girl.

"Now?"

"Yeah, now. I don't have anything else on"

"I'll have to ask... I don't know if she'll let me.... she's still upset that-"

"Leave it to me," Dale said as he took hold of Charlotte's hand and dashed across the road.

"Oh, for goodness sake," Tess said just loud enough for Nick to hear when she saw the pair arrive.

Charlotte stood silently beside Dale as he looked Tess up and down, "Nice hair cut."

Tess no longer had long golden locks, instead her wavy hair rested on her shoulders. It suited her, he thought.

Tess glared at him, "What do you want?"

"I want to take Charlotte riding, if it's okay with you," Dale told her, confidant that she would give in.

Tess shook her head, "You've got to be kidding"

"No, he's serious," Charlotte piped up.

"You saw her at Pony Club this morning, Dale-"

"Yeah, and I need to show her a few things, her jumps aren't quite up to scratch. I'll have her back at your place by 6," Dale said cutting her off.

"Please Tess?" Charlotte whined, giving her aunty the puppy dog eyes that she always found hard to say no to.

"Alright," Tess shot a dirty look at Dale, "But don't think you can win me back by making my niece happy. There are plenty of other people I know that know horses. There's no reason why they couldn't teach her."

Dale smiled a smile of satisfaction. It was clear that he had gotten under her skin. "Maybe the distance might be a problem. It's a long way to Drovers Run from here... I suspect that you won't be able to get there every weekend."

Tess cringed as she heard his sarcasm filled voice state the obvious, "If you don't go right now, I might change my mind."

On cue, he took Charlotte's hand and bolted across the road towards his car. Tess saw Charlotte wave as the car drove off.

"He's right," Nick said looking down at a pissed off Tess. "Drovers is a bit far."

Tess glared at him "Oh, I really hadn't noticed, Nick!"

Nick sighed. He knew not to push her when she got like this. "Do you want a lift home?"

"It's just around the corner, I'll be okay," She told him. She was calmer now.

Nick reached down at took some bags from her hand, their hands brushing against each other in the process. "Tess don't be stupid, let me drive you."

And so she let him. She was in his ute, that same ute from years ago, and he was driving her home.

Tess found herself staring at Nick as he watched the road in front of them. She was certain that he knew she was doing it, but she couldn't help herself. She was still attracted to him, even after every harsh word that had passed between them when they had divorced.

She found herself wondering what it would be like to be with him again, to touch him again. She could almost imagine his skin against hers.

She turned and made herself look out the window whilst reminded herself that he was a married man. He was off limits. She wanted nothing more to do with married men.

She could have kicked herself for having such ludicrous thoughts about Nick Ryan. Her and Nick were over a long time ago. She needed to remember that.

"Just there, Nick," She said pointing to a block of apartments on his right, "The blue building."

Nick pulled over by the building and got out. He began taking some of Tess' shopping bags from the back of the ute.

It wasn't long before Tess was reaching in for some bags as well. She was finding it hard being so close to Nick. She had just spent five intense minutes with him in the car, and now he was going to follow her up to her apartment. She wondered if it was such a good idea.

As she reached for another bunch of bags, her hand brushed against Nick's.

They both snapped their hands away as if they'd been hit by an electric shock. Their eyes met for the first time.

"Sorry," Tess said as she felt her stomach fill with butterflies.

Nick nodded and reached in to take the remaining bags. He could see it, she was feeling all the things that he was. It was as though she had a sign above her head saying "I want you," in huge letters. He wondered if he had that same sign above his head.

Tess dumped her lot of bags on the couch and told Nick to do the same thing. She kicked off her shoes soon after. Her feet were killing.

"Um," She struggled for something to say as she wondered into the kitchen. Finally she did what she always did when there was an awkward moment. She brought out the coffee "Do you want a coffee?"

She needed a gun. A gun to shoot herself with! She was an idiot, and she knew it! If he accepted the coffee it would ultimately mean him staying longer. Could she risk it? What would they talk about, her perverted fantasies about getting him into her bed? She almost laughed out loud at the thought of them discussing it.

"I'd love one actually," He said as he came to stand behind her. He wasn't directly behind her, but she could still feel his warm breath blowing against her.

"Actually," Tess turned to face him. "No offence, Nick... I'm really grateful for the lift and everything, but I think you should go"

"Go?" Nick repeated. He hadn't even had his coffee yet.

"Yes. I ah... I'm a bit... uncomfortable," She told him. "You should go."

Nick nodded as he caught onto what she was saying, "okay."

As Tess opened the door for him, he turned and looked down at her.

"It was good seeing you again," He whispered.

She nodded, "Yeah, you too."

He bent down and brushed his lips against her cheek. Something he knew would only make things worse, and it did. Inside he felt something snap. At that moment he knew that if he didn't leave, he would end up kissing her everywhere she would let him. And she would, he could feel her desire for him.

Slowly he slipped out the door. Tess closed it behind him. She rested up against it trying to forget him.

Before she could even push him out of her mind, she heard and felt the knock on the door.

As soon as she pulled it open, Nick moved towards her. He took her in his arms and murmured, "If I don't kiss you now, I'll go crazy."

Tess said nothing. She just met his lips with the same passion and hunger that he met hers with.


	2. Family Ties

Hi guys! Here is part two. Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Please let me know what you think. I have written up to part six, so i will be posting them over the next few days.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters in this fic. They are the property of Channel 9 Australia and McLeod's Daughters.

**

* * *

History Repeated Part 2: Family Ties**

The pair collapsed into each others arms, both exhausted and breathless from the intense passion which had just erupted between them. They clung to each other, shielding themselves from reality. Both knew that soon, they would have to face it. It was as though it was their last night on earth.

Neither of them uttered a word, they simply fell asleep knowing that for a moment, they had stepped back in time.

* * *

Tess felt warm, warm all over, in fact she hadn't felt this warm in a long time. Her eyes flickered open and were instantly greeted by Nick's sleeping face on the pillow beside her. 

She looked down to discover that her body was in a tangled mess with Nick's. No wonder she was warm.

She began to panic and struggle out of his arms.

"Shit," She said as she climbed out of bed and began to put random items of clothing on.

"Shit, shit, shit!" She said again.

Nick opened his eyes as Tess pulled her shirt down over her head. He couldn't help but stare. She was beautiful. Even when she was upset, she was beautiful.

"That was a mistake, Nick," She told him as she began to pick his clothes up off the floor.

"It didn't feel like one," He propped himself up on his elbow, "In fact I think it was pretty amazing."

Tess threw Nick's clothes at him, "Get dressed, and get out" her tone was ice cold.

"Just like that?" Nick asked as he began to dress himself.

Tess nodded, "Yes, just like that."

She turned to look out the window. If she watched Nick dress, she might fall into that trap again, and she couldn't do it. She couldn't let herself do it ever again.

She had made such a mess of things. Her life was fine the way it was. Why did she have to go and sabotage it? She was beginning to see a pattern. Whenever things were going well for her, she would always do something to change that.

"Tess," She felt his hand on her shoulder.

Tess shook her head, "Just go, Nick."

"It doesn't have to be like this," He spun her around in his arms so she was facing him. "We can-"

"No," Tess put a hand up to silence him. "We can't do anything, Nick. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to remember it, I just want you to leave."

Tess felt herself getting weaker as Nick's hands ran along each of her hips. She knew that if she didn't move, she would give in to that burning desire that she felt for him.

But she couldn't move, she was paralysed. Paralysed by the yearning she felt for him. She wanted him kissing her, stroking her, making her feel alive again.

She felt his hands glide underneath her shirt as his mouth moved in towards hers. There was nothing she could do, no way out. She kissed him.

Wanting quickly turned into needing as their hands rummaged beneath their clothing.

"No," Tess said between kisses "We can't... not again"

But Nick couldn't stop, and he didn't want to stop.

Tess still couldn't bring herself to pull away, so she did the only thing she could. She lifted her knee, took aim and struck.

She saw the look change on Nick's face as he recoiled. She heard him curse between gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry, Nick," She said breathlessly "But it was either that or making the same mistake twice."

"I think I would've chosen the mistake," Nick said as he sat down on the bed. He was in agony.

"Well I know that," She spat, "That's why I did it! In case you haven't noticed, you are married and two kids!"

Nick stood up, he appeared to have recovered, "I want you, not her, Tess."

He reached for her, but she shuffled back.

Staring at him in disbelief she said, "Well you can't have me"

"I was only ever happy with you, Tess," Nick continued.

"You were only ever happy with me?" Tess repeated

"Yes," Nick confirmed.

"Is that why you walked out on me and married Sally? I must've made you really happy, Nick!" Tess snapped. She thought she was over the pain, but she was wrong. The pain still ran deeply through her veins.

"You divorced me, had another kid with her, and now you're standing here, telling me that I was the only woman who truly made you happy!" Tess' voice was raised as hot tears of frustration slid down her face. "Can you even hear yourself, Nick?"

"You were the one who said you couldn't accept Harrison!" Nick finally lost his cool. "You were the one blind with jealously!"

"Well I had a bloody good reason to be, didn't I?" Tess' tone was quiet, but firm. "Tell me, how many times have you been unfaithful to Sally?"

"This is pointless," Nick hissed as he did up the buttons on his shirt and headed for the door.

"You know I worked really hard to get you out of my head and out of my heart, Nick" Tess told him. "And it took you less that an hour to wreck everything that I've worked for!"

Nick spun around angrily, "You weren't complaining!"

Tess glared at him, "I'm not into being anyone's mistress. Go home to your family."


	3. Mending Bridges

**History Repeated Part 3: Mending Bridges**

Tears stained Tess' pretty face as she sobbed on the couch.

Why had she done it? Why had she let him go? He had said everything that she had wanted him to say, everything that she had waited years for him to say.

Morals. That's what it was. She was a good girl, with lovely old fashioned, girl-next-door morals.

Maybe she would have found it easier to take Nick up on his offer if she had that streak of badness within, a little bit of the devil inside her. But she didn't.

She was sure her girl-next-door rule book would spell the end of her love life, one day.

She got up after hearing a knock at the door. It was 9pm, who would be calling around so late? She wondered. She was sure she would screen if it was Dale. She had had about enough of him as she could take for one day. She wasn't in the mood for one of his pitches.

Yes, she had been in love with him, but in hindsight knew that she had made the right move in ending things. The girl-next-door rule book strikes again!.

Before pulling open the door, Tess made a quick dash to a nearby mirror, wiped her tears away, and made her self look at least a little presentable.

"Oh," Tess stared at the figure in the doorway, "Hey." Maybe it would've been better if the person at the door had been Dale. It would've made things a lot easier, she could've just slammed it in his face. It was different with Nick, she could never do that.

"Can I come in?" He asked softly.

Tess hesitated. Did she really want to go down that road again?.

"Nick I-"

"Please, Tess. It'll only take a couple of minutes... I'm on my way to the airport anyway" He told her.

"This late?" She was amazed that he would be heading home so late in the evening.

"Yep, this late" He answered.

Tess agreed and let him in, "Maybe you can have that coffee I promised you."

Nick sat at the table while Tess made the coffee. Things were difficult, but at least they weren't having another screaming match.

"Um.... Nick," Tess placed the coffee's down on the table, before taking a seat beside him.

"It doesn't matter Tess, you were-"

"No," She looked up into his face with deep remorse. "It does matter, Nick. I shouldn't have said all those things... I didn't mean to bring up the past. I just..." she trailed off. She was never any good at explaining her feelings. "I'm sorry"

Nick nodded, "Me too. I should've just walked away, Tess"

"Why didn't you?" Her soft voice asked

Nick sighed, then spoke from the heart, "I guess seeing you after all these years brought back some old feelings... I needed to hold you again, Tess... I'm sorry if I stuffed things for you."

Tess shook her head, "Like you said, Nick, I wasn't complaining. It takes two to tango, remember?" Tess reached over and put her hand on his, "How bout we call it a moment of temporary insanity?"

He smiled, "Deal."

Nick stood up, "Anyway, I better head off."

Tess followed him to the door, "But you haven't even finished your coffee"

"I got what I came for," He told her softly as he laid a hand on her shoulder.

Tess smiled as she leaned in and hugged him, "And I'm sorry about your... goolies"

Tess heard him chuckle. He pulled away, "That was part of the insanity as well."

As Nick stepped out the door, he turned back to Tess, "Don't be a stranger, Tess"

Tess simply nodded and smiled before closing the door.


	4. Total Recall

History Repeated Part 4: Total Recall

Tess couldn't sleep. No matter how much she tried, she was confronted by images of her and Nick. Snuggling into the pillow which still had his strong scent on it wasn't helping things either. But she couldn't help herself. She loved him, she missed him, and she wanted him. The only problem was she couldn't have him.

Even after Nick left he couldn't get her out of his mind. It was like she was permanently etched into his brain. Every thought was of Tess. He'd spent a total of two and a half hours with her, but that was enough to unleash the feelings he had been hiding for years.

"Mate, ya wanna keep your mind on the job?" Alex hollered at him, "I'm the only one doing any work"

"Sorry, Alex," Nick cleared his throat, shook his head, and began to help his brother clean out the silo.

"Go on, spit it out," Alex said, resting on his broom.

"Spit what out?" Nick asked.

"Since you got off that plane last night you've been walking around like a sick calf. Something's eating at you"

Nick sighed. Was he that transparent? He wondered if Sally had noticed the change too. "I saw Tess in the city."

"Yeah?" Was all that escaped Alex' mouth. He wondered if he really wanted to hear the rest of Nick's sentence. Whatever happened between the two had definitely knocked Nick around. He looked as though he hadn't had a wink of sleep the night before.

"I slept with her, Alex" Nick blurted it out without thinking, but it was eating away at him.

Alex was speechless. What the hell was he supposed to say to something like that? How was he meant to respond? By patting his brother on the back and saying 'Good on ya, mate' or by smacking him in the head for being such a bloody idiot?.

"Nick," Alex began, "I wish you'd make up your bloody mind about which one of them you want to be with. You can't flutter between the two of them forever."

"She doesn't want anything to do with me anyway," Nick sighed.

"How did you find her anyway?" Alex asked. "Did you go rifling through my address book?"

"Of course not," Nick spat "I ran into her and Charlotte in the street."

Alex sighed and continued to clean out the silo again. After about two minutes of silence, he turned to Nick. "Are you still in love with her, Nick?" He asked the question that had been playing on his mind for the past few minutes, and the past few years.

Nick nodded "Head over heals."

"Well for christ's sake, do something about it before you regret it," Alex told him.

"I can't just walk out on Sally and the kids, Alex"

"You were never really there, Nick" Said Alex, "We both know that you only married Sally out of a sense of duty. I think she knows it too. Why settle for second best?"

"Because I have kids to think about. I can't just abandon Harrison and Libby," Nick replied.

"If you wanna be miserable, that's your choice. But at least do the right thing and tell Sal what happened between you and Tess."

Nick nodded. He had already decided he was going to. He wasn't a liar. Sally had to know the truth whether he wanted to tell her or not.


	5. The Harsh Light of Day

History Repeated Part 5: The Harsh Light of Day

Tess smiled in her sleep as she felt the rush of pleasure run through her body. His hands were on her body. So gentle, but urgently taking what they must.

"Oh, Nick," She moaned.

Her eyes flicked open and she was greeted with the cold light of morning. He wasn't there at all, she'd simply dreamed it.

Nick rolled over in his sleep. After so many years he finally had her back in his arms. As her soft skin glided under his fingers he wondered how he could have ever let her go.

As pleasure passed through both their bodies, he heard his name escape her lips.

In the heat of passion he held her close and murmured her name as well. Her name hadn't passed through his lips for years, it felt good saying it again.

Nick's eyes fluttered open and he sat up, realising it was all a dream.

He felt Sally's eyes watching him, "You saw her didn't you?"

Nick turned to face his wife and was honest, "Yes, I did."

Sally turned away as Nick stood up and put a shirt on. She didn't know whether she should scream or cry. She knew that something had happened between the pair.

"Did you sleep with her?" Asked Sally.

Nick was silent He didn't want to hurt her.

Sally let out a small chuckle. She should have seen it coming. She'd known from the moment they said "I do" that a part of Nick would always belong to Tess. It surprised her that it took him this long to stray.

"Someone put those scratch marks on your back, Nick" Sally continued, "And it sure as hell wasn't me."

The evidence was there. She knew that she hadn't made the markings on his back. Their love making hadn't been that passionate in a long time. That's what made it hard for her, knowing that he felt passion, real passion for another woman.

Nick saw the pain in her face. How could he have been so careless? How could he have let her find out like this?.

"Sal just let me-"

"How long have you been seeing her?" Sally's voice was beginning to rise as tears were brewing in the back of her eyes.

"Sal-"

"How long, Nick?!" She repeated, this time louder. "At least have the decency to answer my questions!" She yelled.

Nick stood silent, not wanting to hurt her anymore than he had done already. He hated himself for this. Why hadn't he just walked away?.

"It was just the once," He told her as he took a couple of steps towards her. "It only happened once, Sal," He needed her to know that. He needed her to know that it hadn't been an ongoing relationship.

"Did you go looking for her?" Tears began to spill down Sally's pale face.

"No, no," He whispered. "Of course not… we bumped into each other in the street," He explained.

Sally turned away. It had been an accident. An accident waiting to happen, she thought.

"I don't want you here, Nick," Sally was brutally blunt. But she couldn't help it. Throughout her entire marriage she felt she was competing with Tess, living up to Nick's high standards. God, sometimes she even wished she was Tess, just so she could make Nick as happy as she knew Tess made him.

Nick nodded. He had to comply with her wishes. There was no point in making things harder on her. They both needed time to think anyway.

"I never meant to hurt you, Sally" Nick placed a hand on her shoulder.

"But you did, Nick. You did! And the worst part about it is that you probably enjoyed fuck!ng her as much as she enjoyed fuck!ng you!" Sally shouted as she moved away from him.

Nick moved back. He figured now was the time to leave. If he stayed any longer he was sure she would hurl a vase or something at him.

"I'll stay over at Drovers with Alex," He said as he grabbed a couple of days worth of clothes and shoved them in his overnight bag.

"Drovers Run. That's a laugh," Sally snarled bitterly.

"If the kids need anything… or if you want to talk-"

"Yes, I'll call, Nick. Now go!" Sally yelled.

Nick picked up his bag and headed out the door, hating himself for the hurt he caused Sally, for the hurt his mess would cause his kids.

"Dad?" Harrison got off the couch and followed his father to his ute. "Where are you going?"

Nick turned to his son, looked him in the eye and said, "I'll be staying with your Uncle Alex for a bit, mate. You think I can make you the man of the house while I'm gone?"

The boy grinned, "No worries!"

Nick smiled. Harrison thought it was such an honour to be left in charge. If only he knew the half of it. Nick took his 10 year old son in his arms and held him tightly, "Look after your Mum and Lib for me."

With that, Nick got in his ute and drove off into the distance, wondering which direction his life would take. He was torn between his family and the love of his life, Tess McLeod.


	6. You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's...

**History Repeated Part 6: You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone  
**

Alex was about to head out to muster when Nick arrived. He commanded Blaze to halt.

"Mind if I stay here for a few days?" Nick asked, looking up at his older brother.

"I guess you told her then?" Alex didn't know why he bothered asking. The long look on Nick's face was all the confirmation he needed.

"She found out before I could," Nick corrected him.

Alex was surprised. How on earth had Sally found out? Had his brother been stupid enough to leave some sort of evidence lying around? What kind of evidence was there anyway? He had no idea. He had to ask. "Well how did that happen, Nick?"

Nick cringed, "She saw the scratch marks on my back."

"Bloody hell, Nick," Alex exclaimed in horror. "Have you got rocks for brains or something?"

"You should've seen the look on her face when I told her," Nick sighed. "She was devastated."

"Yeah, I'll bet," Alex sighed. "I gotta hand it to you, mate, you're really good at turning something good into something sour."

"Alex what happened with Tess was a mistake," Nick stated. "I'm not going to let it stuff up my life with Sal and the kids."

"I thought you were head over heals-"

"I've always been head over heals in love with Tess, Alex. It's never stopped me from being happy with Sally and the kids before, and it won't in the future," Nick said firmly.

"I gotta say you're a loyal bugger, Nick," Said Alex. "Just make sure you are making the right choice… what happens in a few months when you decide its Tess you want and not Sally?"

"That won't happen," Nick said, turning to walk away. "Sally's my wife Alex. Till death do us part."

* * *

"Tess," Charlotte ran into Tess' room, waving what looked like a calendar at her aunty. "Did you realise that there are only five weeks til school breaks up for the year?"

"Yep," Said Tess, looking up from her bookwork that she had brought home from the café.

"Well maybe we should organise something? Maybe we could go on a holiday or something?"

"I dunno BOM…. I think Alex wants you over at Drovers," Tess told her niece.

Charlotte flopped down on the bed, "Well why don't you come too?"

Tess shook her head at the thought. After the recent happenings with Nick, Drovers was the last place she wanted to be. She couldn't bear to walk the rooms of that house, or ride the open fields, knowing that Nick had once been part of all the beauty too.

The fact that Nick Ryan was only a stones throw away was another deterrent. She wouldn't be able to handle bumping into him, let alone Sally.

"I don't think so. I can't really get the time off BOM. You'll be right on your own, won't you?" Tess asked, patting her niece on the hand.

"But you haven't come to Drovers with me in months… don't you miss it?"

"Of course I do," Tess admitted. She just didn't miss the memories that came with it. "Alright I'll see what I can do, okay?"

"Cool!" Exclaimed Charlotte as she threw her arms around her aunty. "Oh and if it's Uncle Nick you're worried about, then don't. You can do what you always do and avoid him like the plague."

But could she do it? Could she avoid him? Physically she knew she could, but mentally? She didn't think it was possible. Her brain just wouldn't let her forget him. Everyday spent at Drovers Run was a new day of memories, a new day of reliving the past.

Sometimes Tess wished she had never fallen in love with Nick Ryan. Maybe it would've made life easier. But would it have been better? She didn't know the answer to that. But if she hadn't fallen for him, she wouldn't know what she was missing out on. As the saying goes "You don't know what you've got til it's gone."

* * *

Nick and Alex sat on the veranda gazing out at the sunset. In a way it was nice, just the two of them… it seemed a bit like old times. Alex had missed the quality time shared between he and Nick, it was almost non-existent now that he had Sally and the kids. They were Nick's life.

The kids, Alex thought, what beautiful little souls they were. He was close to both of them. Sometimes he even thought life wouldn't be worth living without them

Harrison was a determined little bugger, wanted to be just like his old man. And he would be too -the kid wasn't exactly short on brain cells. And Elizabeth - named after the great Elizabeth Ryan, herself - sweet little Libby, quiet, gentle and generous like her mother.

He could see why Nick wanted to work things out with Sally. Everything he did was for his kids. He usually put himself last, and his family first.

All it had taken was one slip up, one moment of blind passion. Now everything was on the line.

"I might go ring Sal," Nick said as he stood up. "I can't just sit here twiddling my thumbs, wondering if I'll lose her."

Alex caught his brother by the arm as he was about to pass him, "She'll ring if she wants to talk, mate. She's probably still trying to get her head around things."

Nick sighed. Alex was right. When did his brother become so wise? He remembered a time when their rolls were reversed. It was a time when he would be the one pointing out the blindingly obvious facts. Alex had finally grown up.

"You're right," Nick resumed his position in his seat.

Alex let out a slight chuckle, "Of course I am. Big brothers always know best, Nick."


	7. Sweeping It Under The Rug

**History Repeated – Part 7: Sweeping It Under The Rug**

Waking up to the picturesque sunrise on Drovers Run brought back memories for Nick. He remembered how he and Tess had always watched the sunrise together. It was just something they did, a tradition, a ritual. They had watched the sunrise every morning of their married life.

He shook himself, trying to rid his mind of thoughts of her. He had to stop. Sally and the kids were his life now. He had to stop living in the past and start focusing on fixing the mess he had made in the present.

He needed to see Sally. He had to let her know that what happened with Tess was a mistake. But was it? Did he really consider it to be a mistake? At the time it felt so right. Nick felt like there was no other place he would rather be, not with his wife, not even with his kids. It felt awful admitting it to himself, but he really couldn't deny it.

"What the hell am I doing?" Nick muttered. He had no idea. He had to find a way through this. He needed to. All this uncertainty was driving him mad. He hated the mixture of feelings that were tearing at his heart.

Sally, she was his life. They had worked so hard at their marriage. They had built it up and made it strong over the years. Nick knew he couldn't just throw that all away.

But he didn't love Sally in the same way as he loved Tess. That spark, that little flame that burnt brightly within him whenever he was around Tess…. He didn't have one of those with Sally, he never had.

Nick had to pull himself together. It was imperative now. He had to be strong and put those feelings for Tess aside.

It was lust. That's what it was, pure lust. He had fallen out of love with Tess long ago. Lust was all it was, a lusty night of love making. He had to convince himself of that. There was no way he was going to walk out on another marriage.

"Nick?" Sally's voice struck him as he came down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Sal," Nick let out a sigh of relief. He had no idea that seeing her would make him feel so good.

"I thought we could sit down… talk… if you're not busy"

Nick shook his head and motioned for Sally to take a seat, "no, no, its fine. Sit down." Even if he was busy, he would tell her he wasn't. He couldn't let her slip through his fingers.

"Nick," Sally said in a soft voice. "Despite what you did, I love you, and I don't want to lose you. I know we've been stuck in a rut for a while… I can understand why you felt you had to-"

"No," Nick interrupted. "Sal I didn't go looking for her… I could never do that to you. What happened between Tess and I was a mistake. It didn't mean anything to either one of us. You're my wife and I love you."

"If we're going to get past this, Nick, I need to know that you're 100 percentcommitted. I don't think I could handle it if-"

"I am, Sal," Nick reached for her hands. "I am."

Sally nodded, "Good… Nick… I'm sorry about the awful things I said yesterday-"

"You were upset, Sal," Nick said, stroking her hands.

"That's no excuse"

"It's in the past now," Nick stood up, pulling Sally up with him, and into his arms. "Lets just focus on cleaning up the mess I've made of our lives, and look to the future"

And he meant that from the bottom of his heart. He had to forget about Tess McLeod once and for all. She was nothing but an ex-wife. She had his heart, but he would have to ignore that.


	8. The Powers That Be

**History Repeated Part 8: The Powers That Be**

Tess stared at the calendar in total disbelief. She had been staring at it for at least ten minutes, trying to convince herself that what she saw wasn't true, that the dates were all wrong.

No matter how many times she told herself that it wasn't real, that she had some how mixed up the dates, she knew deep down that it was real. She could feel it inside. She knew things were changing.

Her mind began to swirl. How could she have been so stupid, so careless, so irresponsible, that night with Nick? Neither of them had even thought to protect themselves. Neither of them had considered the consequences. They were so eager, so desperate to be with each other that they had thrown caution out the window like a pair of love sick teenagers.

It was all wrong. This wasn't how she had intended to bring a child into the world.

Tess sighed and ran her hand through her hair as she turned towards Charlotte, who was perched on the couch watching the Saddle Club – one of her afternoon regulars.

"BOM I gotta go out for a bit," She told her.

"Okay," Charlotte replied, taking a moment to turn away from the TV and look at Tess. "How long will you be?"

"I won't be long. I just have to go to the chemist…" She knew the answer, but she had to know for sure. She couldn't stand not having proper confirmation. At least if she knew for sure she might be able to think a bit more rationally.

"Oh, is everything okay?"

"Yep, fine… peachy in fact," Tess said sarcastically as she picked up her wallet, phone and house keys. "I'll be back in fifteen. Don't open the door to anyone."

"Yep, okay."

* * *

Tess came out of the chemist gasping for the fresh air—or the closest thing to fresh air—that Melbourne could offer. She felt sick. She knew she was being silly, but she couldn't help but feel that everyone was watching her, pointing their judgmental fingers at her.

She stood there, just breathing. She needed to settle down, settle her nerves. None of this was helping the situation.

When she felt ready, she turned. She had barely moved when she heard the familiar voice calling out to her.

"Tess? Tess is that you?"

Tess wanted to curl up and die. It seemed like the cosmic forces were plotting against her, yet again. It was karma, she thought to herself.

She cleared her throat and turned toward the voice, "Liz, hi"

"It's so lovely to see you again," Liz said as she came to stop in front of her. "It's been far too long, hasn't it?"

Not long enough, Tess thought. She had managed to avoid Liz for at least two years, despite the fact that they were living in the same city. Why couldn't it have been five years? Why did they have to bump into each other now, in the middle of such a crisis?

"Far too long," She finally answered with a grin—a fake grin.

"Are you too busy to have a coffee? It would be lovely to sit down and have a chat with you," Liz said cheerfully.

It was most defiantly karma striking, paying her back for sleeping with not one married man, but two!

"I'm sorry, maybe another time, Liz," Tess shuffled, trying to hide the pharmacy bag behind her back. "I told Charlotte that I would be straight home."

"Oh," Liz replied "I see, well another time then?"

"Yep, sure… it was nice seeing you again, Liz" Tess told her.

She was so eager to get away that when she turned, she almost slipped, causing her pharmacy bag to fall to the ground.

"Shit," she said under her breath, knowing that her pregnancy test had probably been exposed.

She turned, ready to bend down and pick it up, only to discover that Liz had already done so, "It seems congratulations may be in order."

Tess stood there like a stunned mullet. Congratulated? If Liz knew the full story, she wouldn't be congratulating her at all. She would be shoving a one way ticket down her throat and sending her to some place like Moscow or something. There was no way she would accept this child.

"Ah…" Tess was lost for words.

"Oh, Tess," Liz placed the test back in the bag and handed it to her. "You'll make a lovely mother, I'm sure of it."

"Um, thanks Liz" Tess took the test from her. Suddenly feeling a sense of duty, she did something she knew she would probably regret, "Why don't you come to my place? We can have that coffee there… I'm sure Charlotte would be glad to see you."

"Oh, I would love that."

On the walk to the apartment, Tess wondered if those pregnancy hormones had taken control of her brain. What was she thinking inviting Liz for coffee?


	9. Coffee & Sympathy

**History Repeated Part 9: Coffee and Sympathy  
**

"My, what a beautiful place you have here, Tess" Liz admired the luxurious apartment and its decor. "You've really got an eye for interior design."

"One of my hidden talents," Tess grinned.

Liz sat down as Tess brought the two coffee's over. "So tell me, who's the lucky man?"

"Sorry?"

"The baby's father, Tess. I'm so glad that you've finally been able to move on"

If only she had been able to. She couldn't believe that she was still obsessing over Nick. It was like he had infected her with some kind of bug. Well he had, hadn't he? The child was a permanent reminder of the way she felt about him–-the way she'd always felt about him.

"Oh... he's ah... he's not actually in my life anymore," Tess stammered. She knew inviting Liz for coffee was a bad idea, and she knew the questions would keep rolling.

"Oh that's too bad..." Liz was sympathetic. Although she and Tess had gotten off to a rocky start, they had managed to overcome their differences and were actually able to be civil around each other. Liz had accepted Tess was a Ryan, and Tess accepted Liz was her mother-in-law.

But then things had turned ugly when Nick and Tess' marriage broke up. She wondered if Liz would ever forgive her for so calmly, so cooly accepting that Nick wanted out. Tess remembered that Liz was very sympathetic towards her, at the time. She had been so bitter that she assumed her mother-in-law was only doing it to rub her face in itafter all Sally and Liz got on like a house on fire.

But maybe she was wrong? Maybe Liz really was sorry to see the marriage fall apart. She had been so kind, so remorseful about their troubled past on her wedding day.

Thoughts of Nick once again plagued her mind. Maybe she had been too quick to let him go. She should have held onto him tighter. Fought harder to keep him.

Tess wanted to go back and relive the moments that ultimately lead to the end of her marriage. Maybe things would've turned out differently.

But if she relived those moments, she would have to relive the pain that came along with them. She couldn't do that again. She wasn't capable.

Along with her heart, Nick had taken her strength.

Shoving the horrible memories from her mind, Tess turned to Liz, "It's probably best this way, Liz."

"Oh?"

Tess didn't know exactly what she was doing, but she needed advice. If anyone knew about sleeping with married men, it was Liz. The only other person who knew about this sort of thing was Claire, and talking to her wasn't exactly a viable option.

"He's married," Tess explained.

"Oh, I see," Liz paused for a moment as she recalled her own dilemma years earlier with Alex's biological father. She wondered what she could offer Tess in way of advice.

"You think I'm horrible don't you?" Tess asked as she fidgeted with the lace on the tablecloth.

"No, of course not," Liz said truthfully. "After all I've been there too, remember? These things happen to the best of us, Tess, look at Claire."

"Yeah but Claire didn't know Peter was married, Liz. I knew this guy was married when... well when we went to bed," Tess would have laughed if she was someone other than herself. This was the most ridiculous predicament she had gotten herself into for ages. She was talking to her ex-mother-in-law about bedding her son for gods sake!

"Yes, well..." Liz trailed off. "Maybe the best thing to do is find out for sure. Take the test, Tess."

"Now?" Tess asked. Was Liz really going to sit there and wait while she went into the bathroom and peed on a stick?

"Well you want to know for sure, don't you?" Liz asked.

Tess nodded, "I guess now's a good a time as any."

She wondered if she was on another universe. Liz Ryan was actually helping her. She hadn't said all that much, but just having her around made the world of difference. It was like Liz was cleaning the fog from her vision.

As she headed into the bathroom she called out to Liz, "Charlotte's probably in her room doing homework. I'm sure she'd be glad to see grandma Liz ."

Liz stood up, "Yes, I might just do that. Let me know when you've finished, dear."

* * *

"Grandma!" Charlotte exclaimed as she looked up from her work.

"Hello darling," Replied Liz as they hugged. "My, my, you're looking more and more like your mother every time I see you."

And it was true. Everyone had told her that often enough. Her blonde head of hair had gradually turned to that beautiful shade of dark brown that Claire had been blessed with.

"Two Ryan's in two months, that's gotta be a record," Charlotte smiled. First her Uncle Nick and now Grandma Liz, it was great, she thought.

"I beg your pardon?" Liz had no idea what the young girl was on about. It was obvious that she had inherited her vagueness from her aunt.

"Oh," Charlotte grinned, "We ran into Uncle Nick last month."

"Oh really?" Liz asked, sitting herself down on Charlotte's bed. "And how was he? We were meant to catch up for lunch while he was here, but he must've forgotten about that"

"He was okay... well I don't really know. I went riding with a friend, you see. He drove Tess home though... You know ever since then she's been acting really weird!"

"Weirder than usual?"

Charlotte laughed, "Yeah. She doesn't even want to come to Drovers for Christmas cos she might bump into him. I don't get it, why can't they just go about their own lives like they usually do? They've done it for years, what's different this year?"

"Well that's a shame, Charlotte," Liz patted her on the hand. "Maybe I can talk her into it?"

"Well I've already tried. She won't budge. And you know what? I asked Uncle Alex to try and talk her round, he said that we shouldn't push her! Can you believe that? He didn't even try," Charlotte puted.

That's odd, Liz thought to herself. Alex of all people would have loved spending Christmas with Tess. Why on earth would he just drop the issue like that?

And then the penny dropped.

"Charlotte..." Liz turned to her once more. "You ran into Nick when he was last down here on business, is that right?"

"Yep"

"So that would've been quite a few weeks ago now," Liz stood up and covered her mouth with her hand. If her calculations were correct, the baby Tess was carrying was her grandchild.

Liz wondered if she was going senile and just jumping to conclusions. Would Tess really go back down that road?

It dawned on Liz that she didn't know Tess at all. She would never know her intimately enough to guess her actions. But she did know her son. And if there was one thing she knew, it was that he had been silently pining for Tess over the years. Of course she had never confronted him over it, and he would never admit it, but Liz knew those feelings of longing existed.

"Grandma are you okay?" Charlotte's voice broke through Liz' thoughts.

Liz turned to Charlotte and smiled slightly, "Yes, yes... I was just thinking. Anyway dear I best let you get back to your homework. I'll be outside with Tess if you need anything."

And with that she was gone.

* * *

Tess threw cold water over her face in an effort to wash away her tears. The test had confirmed what had been in the back of her mind for the last few days. She was pregnant.

As the water dripped down her pail face she knew that she could wash the tears away, but she could never wash away the pain and shame she felt.

She had slept with a man who she knew was married. It was something she swore she would never do. She didn't think she even had it in her.

But she had. And now look where she was. She was up a creek without a paddle. She was up shit creek, in fact.

"Tess, dear, are you alright in there?" Liz' voice echoed through the bathroom door, hitting Tess like a rock. She'd forgotten Liz was there.

"Ah yeah... just a minute," She called.

She dried her face promptly and exited the room, dumping the pregnancy test in the bin, on her way out the bathroom door.

"I take it by the look on your face that your suspicions were confirmed?"

Tess flopped down at the table, "Yep."

Tess poured herself more coffee from the pot as she tried to think positively. She was pregnant with Nick's child. It was a blessing, not a burden, she told herself. She had always dreamed of being the mother of Nick's child... but she'd also dreamed of him being by her while she went through it. She didn't even know if that was possible now.

"Sounds like you have some big decisions to make," Liz too topped up her coffee. It looked as though she would be staying a while.

"I've already decided that I can't tell him," Tess told Liz.

"Are you sure you're not being too hasty, Tess?"

"Yes, I'm positive. He's happy with his life–-with his family. I won't wreck that for him"

"That's very admirable, Tess," And it was. Tess McLeod was putting Nick first, and putting herself last. "But don't you think he deserves to know?"

"Of course I do... but Liz... I... When I found out Sally was pregnant with Harrison..." Tess stammered a little. "I don't want to do that to someone else because I know how much it hurts."

Liz shook her head. The girl had grown over the years. But she couldn't just sit back and watch her grand child grow up without a father.

"Tess. You'll need help"

"I managed fine with Charlotte. I can do it again"

The girl had guts, that was for sure. She was a true McLeod. A battler.

"I mean during the pregnancy... a support person"

Tess nodded, "I'll be okay"

"I'd like to help, Tess"

Tess stared at Liz in disbelief. Had she just imagined that, or had Liz really offered to be her support person?

"Oh come on, Tess," Liz smiled. "I know we aren't exactly best friends but I would like to help. Maybe it will bring us closer."

Tess nodded. She really was on another universe. Not only had Liz offered to be her support person, but Tess had decided to accept the offer, "Okay... thank you, Liz. And your right, it might bring us closer."


	10. Homeward Bound

_Major update here guys! Sorry its taken so long - been slack and busy with uni and moving.  
Let me know what you reckon._**  
**

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* * *

**

**History Repeated Part 10: Homeward Bound**

"Hello?" Tess called as she entered the Drovers Run homestead.

"Tess?" Charlotte squealed as she heard her aunts voice echoing through the large house. She came barrelling down the stairs and straight into Tess' open arms. "What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't come!"

"Yeah well your grandmother decided to give me a Christmas present," Tess explained. "It was a ticket to Gungellan... I sort of had to take it."

Charlotte burst into a fit of laughter. She was only twelve years old, but she wasn't an idiot. She was quite aware of the strained relationship between Tess and Liz.

"What's so funny?" Alex asked as he followed Charlotte's laughter. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Tess. "Tess!" He exclaimed.

Tess let out a laugh as Alex picked her up and spun her around in his arms. She hadn't expected to feel so at ease so soon. Just being around Alex had made Tess feel as though a large weight had been taken off her shoulders—even though it hadn't been.

Alex had that affect on her. All he had to do was wave his magic wand, come up with one of his ridiculously lame jokes, and her mood—no matter what it was—would be cured and forgotten.

"Alex put me down or I'll be sick all over you!" Tess squealed as she held on to Alex while he continued to spin her around. Although she was only six weeks along, her morning sickness was already playing havoc with her.

"Hey Alex," Nick's voice startled them all as he came into the house. He'd been helping Alex with some yard work. "You reckon I could have my cordless back?"

He stopped as he found Tess swung over Alex' shoulder, and Charlotte watching them in awe.

Tess slid out of Alex's grasp. She'd been caught off guard. Seeing Nick so soon wasn't part of her plan. She hadn't prepared herself for the emotions she would feel.

"Nick..." she said, feat firmly planted on the ground.

Their eyes met for the briefest moment, before Tess made herself look to the side. The joy she had just felt had been squashed like a bug. She wanted to stick her head in the sand and hide forever. Seeing Nick had made everything so real. She was far from prepared to deal with reality.

"I didn't realise you'd be coming, Tess"

He said it so flatly… so unwelcoming. It made Tess feel sick. He didn't even want to know her.

"Ah... well, neither did I" Tess said awkwardly, trying to keep her emotions in tact. "Your mother had other ideas though."

"Mum?" Alex and Nick both asked. Neither of them had any idea that Tess was still in touch with their mother.

"She waved the tickets in my face and insisted I use them. I couldn't really turn her down."

"Hang on," Alex put his hand up for clarification. "My mother, Liz Ryan paid for you to come here?"

Tess nodded, "She said it was an overdue Christmas present"

Alex burst into laughter as he looked at Nick, "I think she might be having a mid life crisis, mate!"

Charlotte chose that particular moment to butt in, "Yeah and she's been popping over almost every day for the last week and a half!"

"Really?" Alex and Nick asked in disbelief.

Charlotte sighed, "Maybe she should just move in"

Charlotte was being sarcastic, but Tess shook her head at the prospect, unable to even imagine it! "She doesn't spend that much time with us, Charlotte!"

"Every time there's a knock at the door it's her!"

"Stop being melodramatic," Tess demanded, trying to put a stop to the conversation. She was feeling drained now. "BOM's just being imaginative. She makes your mother sound like a leach."

Tess felt like kicking herself, again. Leach—that was a great choice of words wasn't it?

Alex stared at Tess. He watched her face change and knew instantly that there was something more to the situation than she had told of. He looked to Nick who was also studying her.

"What?" She asked trying to act innocently. She felt Nick's eyes burning into her. "I thought you two would've been proud that we're getting along so well"

"Yeah," Alex spoke up. "We are, Tess. It's good... it's just strange knowing that you and Mum are best buddies. Takes a bit of getting used to, ya know?"

"Yeah well… same here," Tess said softly.

Tess looked to Nick again. She couldn't help it. She'd missed him, whether she wanted to admit it or not. She didn't like his welcoming reception though. She could almost feel the daggers being thrown at her. He seemed very edgy. In fact he looked almost ready to explode if the wrong buttons were pushed. She wondered what was going on. Last she'd heard, they were on friendly terms. Last she recalled, he told her not to be a stranger. So what had changed?.

"Alex, my drill," Nick reminded his brother.

"Oh yeah, mate. I lent it to Stevie," Said Alex carelessly. He didn't give a stuff about Nick's cordless drill at the moment. There were other issues to sort out. Like Christmas, maybe!.

"Gees, Alex," Nick snarled slightly.

"You'll get it back in one piece, don't worry," Alex snarled back.

"Well call me when she's done with it," Nick said before making a move for the door.

Alex looked at Tess, then Charlotte, "Well ladies, now that grouchy's buggered off, what say we go for a ride?"

"Oh, you two get a head start… I just have to talk to Nick…"

Alex nodded. He got the picture, "Righto, meet us in Jack's Folly. I'll saddle up Phoenix for ya."

--------------------------

"Nick," Tess called as she came out of the house after him. He was already in his ute, about to reverse out the drive way.

Nick's window came down, and he spoke, "What is it, Tess?"

"I just…" She trailed off. The look in his eyes scared her slightly. Throughout everything they had been through, she had never seen him look at her like that, ever.

"I should have told someone I was coming… I didn't even think about your Christmas plans…" She said softly.

"It's fine, Tess," He said sharply as he began to wind up his window.

Tess put her hand on the window to stop him, "Have I done something wrong, Nick?"

"Tess I'm in a hurry," Nick avoided answering her question.

"You know you and Sally and the kids can still come over for Christmas-"

A chuckle escaped Nick before his sarcastic reply, "Oh yeah, Sal would love that, Tess"

Again, she wanted to kick herself. She had spoken without thinking, again. Sitting across the dining table from Nick and Sally would most certainly be an experience she would never forget.

She pulled her hand away from the window, "You're right," she whispered. "Sorry."

Slowly she backed up, and turned, ignoring the stinging sensation at the make of her eyes. She was beginning to wish she'd stayed in the city for Christmas.


	11. Pregnant Pause

**History Repeated Part 11: Pregnant Pause**

Charlotte had ridden ahead of Alex, once Tess had caught up to them. She figured that the pair needed to talk. People underestimated her maturity. She knew things that people didn't expect. Well she knew that something had happened between Nick and Tess anyway. It was plain as day.

"Did you sort things out with Nick?" Alex asked as his horse trotted along side Tess'

"Nope," She answered. "I don't know what I've done, Alex."

Alex looked at her, and was blunt, "I would've thought that was obvious Tess."

Tess was stunned. Alex had been so warm and welcoming no more than half an hour ago. Now his tone and manner was anything but warm and welcoming.

"You think it's my fault?" She snapped angrily. "You think I seduced him, do you? It takes two, Alex!"

"I think you've got-"

"No, no! Don't bother," Tess cut him off and spun her horse around. She was already feeling like crap, she wasn't going to stick around so that Alex could make her feel ten times worse.

"Tess wait up. You've got it all wrong," Called Alex as he chased after her. She hadn't let him get a word in edgewise, she'd simply assumed his stance on the situation.

By now she was a fair way in front.

"Get stuffed Alex!" Tess yelled as the tears slid down her cheeks.

Charlotte had turned around as well. Lagging behind she followed the pair, and watched.

"Tess, would you stop!" Alex called as he gained on her.

"Just leave me alone!" She told him before taking off as fast as she could.

Alex would have chased her if Charlotte hadn't caught up to him and took hold of his arm, "She needs to be on her own."

He looked at Charlotte and grinned, "Why Claire, hello" He joked.

"Yeah, yeah," Charlotte smirked. "I sounded just like my mother. I know"

"But you're right, Tess probably needs to be on her own," Alex agreed.

----------------

Tess had arrived back at Drovers almost three hours after taking off on Phoenix. She'd spent the majority of her time sitting under a gum tree, thinking.

She was trying to work out what she was going to do. She was dead set about hiding her pregnancy from Nick. He clearly wanted nothing to do with her. And even if he did, she wasn't going to screw up his life any more than she already had done.

But even though she was dead set about keeping the baby a secret, she couldn't help but picture Nick with their little miracle in his arms. Tess had always wanted Nick to father her children.

The hormones were screwing with her head again. She knew that if Nick were to find out about the baby that it wouldn't be all hearts and roses. She had to stop fantasizing.

A knock at her bedroom door brought Tess away from her thoughts. She turned and opened the door. Alex was there.

He saw the tears in her eyes.

"Look," He began. "Before you go off at me again, let me speak."

Tess simply nodded and moved aside so that he could come further into the room.

"I don't think you seduced my brother. I don't think anything of the sort Tess," Alex said. "When I said that I thought it was obvious why Nick had the shits, I was referring to Christmas. Nick, Sal, the kids and Harry were meant to spend Christmas here. I guess Nick was thrown when he saw you."

"Oh," Tess said softly as she sat down on her bed. She really had to stop jumping to conclusions and assuming things. Maybe it was the hormones doing that as well?

"Tess..." Alex sat down beside her. "What's bothering you?"

Tess shook her head. How would Alex react to finding out that he was going to be an uncle? He would either support her, or lose it. She couldn't take the risk, she didn't want to find out, "It's nothing, Alex."

"Now don't give me that, Tess. I've known you long enough to know when something's messing your head around," Alex continued.

"Alex, just leave it okay," Tess told him. He was pushing for answers, but she was scared that when he had the answers he wouldn't like them. It was better if she kept it to herself for the moment.

"Look," Alex took her hand in an effort to show his support. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Tess. We've always been able to talk... so talk."

Tess was silent. Alex seemed sincere. Maybe she could tell him. What he had said was true, they had always been able to go to each other with their problems.

"Is it Nick? Are you still in love with him?" Alex asked.

Tess shook her head again, "It's not that . . . well it is . . . that's part of it..." Tess looked down at her hands as she felt the tears rolling again.

"Come on Tess," Alex urged her to open up. He'd never seen her clam up like this before. She was usually so open with him. "What is it? Maybe I can help."

Help? What could he do to help? What's done is done.

"Tess?" Alex asked again.

"I'm pregnant, Alex."


	12. Alexander The Great

**History Repeated Part 12: Alexander The Great**

Alex stared at Tess in disbelief as he removed his arm from around her shoulders.

"What?" He asked softly. Had he heard her correctly? Did she just tell him that she was pregnant?

Tess wiped her tears away and stood up. She felt better now that she had gotten it off her chest, "I've known for almost two weeks."

"Nick's the father?" Alex asked, looking up at her as she came to stand in front of him.

Tess nodded, "Yeah, Nick's the father."

Alex stood up and brought her into his embrace, "What are you gonna do?"

"I can't tell Nick," Tess sighed, resting against Alex's chest.

Alex pulled away, "He needs to know about this, Tess. You can't keep it from him."

Tess shook her head, "Alex, I've already done enough damage to Nick's life, to his family. If I tell him, it will only make things worse."

"So this is about guilt is it?" Alex asked whilst looking her in the eye.

"No," Tess defended herself. It wasn't about guilt! Well yes, she felt guilty--of course she did! But that's not what this decision was based on.

"So tell him Tess. You of all people should know what it's like to grow up without knowing your father. And you of all people should know what it's like to keep something like this quiet. It will backfire on ya Tess."

Tess shook her head as she moved away from Alex. She knew what he was saying made perfect sense. She hated growing up without a father, and she had sworn that if she had ever had a child she would never deny the father his rights of access. But here she was doing exactly that.

She didn't care about the consequences. Even though she knew the risks, she didn't care. Seeing Claire go through the same situation with Peter, and knowing that it ended in disaster wasn't an incentive to tell Nick the truth either.

She couldn't see clearly enough to make the right choice. She was blinded by guilt and feelings of hurt from the past. There was no way that she would do to Nick and Sally what Sally had done to her and Nick years earlier. There was no way that she was going to be the one to destroy what she thought was a happy marriage.

"Yeah and I also know what it's like to have someone tell you that they're pregnant to your husband, Alex," Tess said as she paced the room. "I won't do to Sally what she did to me. I know how much it hurts and I can't-"

"This isn't about Sally," Alex interrupted. "This is about you, Nick and the little life that's growing inside of you. You gotta forget everything from your past and just tell him Tess."

"No, Alex. I don't have to do anything," Tess said even more firmly. "I know you're trying to help, and I know you think that Nick has a right to know, but I can't destroy his life. And this has everything to do with Sally! If I tell Nick, this effects Sally too, Alex."

Alex shook his head, "Well what are you going to do? What are you going to tell people? Have you got a story?"

Tess hated how mature Alex had grown. He'd become so practical in his old age.

"No I haven't," She answered.

"Well you better," He told her. "And it better be a good one too. Nick's not an idiot, and he sure as hell can pick a lie when he sees one."

Tess wanted to throw something at Alex. He was right. He was right about everything, and she hated it! How was she going to explain her way out of this one? Nick knew her back to front and inside out, he could tell when she was spinning a lie. She knew she wouldn't be able to get away with it.

"Alex, why do you always have to be right?" Tess glared at him, her hands resting firmly on her hips–-she was in the Claire stance.

"Because I do," was all he said. "Now go talk to him, before you change your mind" He said before leaving the room.

"I haven't made up my mind!" Tess mumbled under her breath in frustration.


	13. Saying Is One Thing, Doing Is Another

**History Repeated - Part 13: Saying is one thing, doing is another.**

Tess pulled over to the side of the road, "What am I doing?" She couldn't just waltz over to Wilgul and say, "Hey Nick, guess what? I'm pregnant."

There was no way that she could do it. It was ridiculous that she had even contemplated telling Nick the truth. She had principles to stand by. No way was she going to become a home wrecker.

"Bloody Alex," Tess cursed. How could she have listened to him, let alone let him talk her into this! Had she gone mad?.

Tess took a deep breath then pulled back onto the road. As she spun the car around, she noticed a familiar vehicle coming from the distance.

"Great," It was Nick.

She pulled over yet again, after Nick's continuous beeping had gotten to her. She wasn't in the mood for another argument. But it's not like she could keep driving. The beeping of his horn would most definitely drive her mad.

"What is it Nick?" Tess asked as she met him in the space between the two vehicles. "I don't have time to have another roadside argument with you. Don't you think we've had enough of those already?"

Nick nodded, "Yeah. But I don't want to argue. I want to apologise for what happened before."

"Okay," Tess agreed. "Go ahead."

"Seeing you again... it was a shock. I shouldn't have been so unwelcoming," Nick said sincerely.

"That's right," Tess agreed. "You're the one who said that I shouldn't be a stranger, Nick."

Nick looked down at his feet for a moment, "I know." He had said and done a lot of things in the past few months that would come back and haunt him. This was one of those things.

"But I think you might need to be Tess," He told her softly, looking at her again. "I think we need that distance between us again."

"Right," Tess nodded.

"I really want to work things out with Sally, Tess," Nick stated.

"I see," Tess was incredibly hurt by Nick's lack of respect for her feelings. Could he rub it in her face anymore? She felt sick. She wondered if it was just the morning sickness again, or if it was the thought of Sally and Nick together.

Tess wanted to laugh. She was an idiot. She loved Nick so much that she was keeping his child a secret, just to keep his life with Sally together. But at the same time, she was jealous of his life with Sally. Sometimes she wanted to tell Nick about the baby just to break him and Sally up.

But thinking about doing something and actually doing it were two very different sides of the coin. Tess knew that.

"I think maybe it's best if you and I only see each other when it's vital, Tess," said Nick. He could see the hurt in her face. It was killing him.

"How about we just revert to old habits, Nick?" Tess suggested. "Maybe we shouldn't see each other at all. I mean we went for years without contact and it worked fine."

Nick shook his head at the thought, "I don't want to go back to that."

"You want to work things out with Sally, but you still want me in your life, is that it?" Tess quizzed. She wondered how that would work. Sally was crazy jealous of her, just like she was crazy jealous of Sally. "I don't understand how it works," said Tess.

"Look," Nick let out a sigh. He didn't know how to explain himself. Tess knew exactly how he was feeling, but was taking everything the wrong way. "We've made our choices right? We both have our separate lives... sometimes our paths will cross..."

"Nick I don't know what you're saying," Tess admitted. For once in her life he had her puzzled. He really wasn't making sense. Did he want to see her or didn't he?

"I don't want to see you unless its absolutely necessary," Nick finally said. "Having you around... Sally tends to-"

"Right," Tess nodded her head. "What you're saying is that having me around is causing a rift in your marriage? That's fine, I'll stay away."

"I don't want you to stay away entirely though," Nick said as he took a step towards her.

"I won't," Tess answered. "I'll see you when something vital happens, Nick."

Tess was pissed off now, and Nick could see it.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Tess-"

"You tell me you don't want me to be a stranger. I assumed that meant you wanted my friendship Nick! Now you're saying you don't want to see me unless something vital happens! Vital is when someone dies Nick!"

"You know a friendship isn't possible, Tess," Nick said calmly as he took her hand.

"Because of Sally?" Tess asked.

"Because of everything," Nick replied. It wasn't just Sally, it was his feelings toward Tess as well. He couldn't even look at her without wanting to kiss her. He couldn't be around her when he was in love with her. "Because of what happened," He continued.

Tess met his eyes with her, "I guess I'll see you when something vital happens."

As Tess moved back towards her ute, Nick called out, "I'm sorry Tess."

Tess had tears spilling down her cheeks by now. Those bloody hormones wouldn't let up!

"No you're not," She spun around to face him again. "Remember what you said to me? You said that you wanted me, not Sally."

"And as I recall, you turned me down," Nick remembered. "Don't tell me you've suddenly changed your mind?" Nick was now dripping with sarcasm

"You can't just say that sort of thing to someone then take it back, Nick!" Tess told him shakily. "Or was it all just a bit of fun? You didn't have Sally with you in the city and you needed someone. How convenient it was that we ran into each other-"

Nick closed the gap between the two of them and took Tess by the shoulders. He looked down into Tess' eyes as he asked, "What do you want Tess? Do you want me to tell you you're right? Or do you want me to tell you that you're wrong? What do you want?"

What did she want? She wanted him! She wanted a father for her child!

She shook under his touch. She'd missed the feel of his skin against hers.

"I want to know how you feel," She whispered, looking up into his eyes.

Nick let her go and took a step back. Was that why she had come back, to find out how he felt?. "I feel like I've stuffed things, Tess," Answered Nick. "I had something good with Sally, and in one night all that went out the window."

That comment had knocked some sense into Tess. She was seeing clearly again. For a short moment, she was ready to tell Nick that she still loved him, no matter what the consequences were. Her mouth had been out of control, it had a mind of its own. Luckily she had snapped back into reality.

"Okay," Tess sighed. "I'll keep my distance so that you and Sally can work things out properly. I want you to be happy you know?"

Nick nodded, "I know that, Tess. And I want the same for you."

Nick watched her head back to the ute and hop in. Had he just made the biggest mistake of his life? Turning her away again? One day he would run out of chances with Tess. What would he do then?.


	14. The Runaround

**History Repeated - Part 14: The Runaround**

Tess sat by Alex on the veranda and cast her eye out into the distance. She knew what was coming. She wanted to escape his questions, but knew that she couldn't avoid the indefinitely. There was really no point in trying to get out of it.

"So how did it go?" Alex's questions started no more than ten seconds after she had sat down. And he started with a doozy! Typical Alex.

"I didn't tell him. It was silly to think I could," Tess answered, looking him straight in the eye. She needed Alex to know she was serious about this. She wasn't going to be steam rolled again and she wasn't going to change her mind. The secret was to remain exactly that, a secret.

"You know Tess if the father was a knob I would respect your decision," Alex stated. "But this is Nick we're talking about. He's a good father and he'd support you if he knew what was going on."

"I don't want his support!" Tess exploded, even though deep down she did want Nick's support.

"Yes you do," Alex told her. "Why else would you come back here? I know you aren't here for Christmas, that's just an added bonus."

Tess shook her head, "I didn't come here to tell him. That's not why I'm here."

"I think it is, Tess," Tess was an open book. If anyone could read her, Alex could. "You came here because you couldn't stand being away from Nick, knowing that you're having his baby. Part of you wants to run over there and tell him the good news, but the other part of you–the whimpy, idiotic part-won't allow it because you don't want to be seen as a hypocrite by Sally."

Tess shook her head again. She wasn't going to just sit there and take that! "I told you that I don't want to wreck-"

"Yeah, you don't want to wreck the life he's built. I heard you the first time Tess," Alex butt in and cut her off. "But how can you be so sure that you'll wreck everything?"

"Because I went through it myself, Alex!" Tess stood up and towered over a still seated Alex. "Finding out Sally was having Nick's baby killed my marriage. How do you think it will effect Sally's?"

Alex sighed and looked up at her. He didn't want to have to resort to this, but it had to be said. "Look," he began, "Nick's my brother, right? I can't keep something like this from him."

Tess let out a pain filled chuckle as she turned her back to Alex, "Oh so if I don't tell him, you will, is that it?"

"I'm sorry, but yes," Answered Alex. As much as it killed him to have to betray Tess, he would if he had to. He couldn't lie to his brother about something like this even if he wanted to.

"I see," Tess whispered before heading inside and upstairs.

---------------------

Sally strolled into the house with Elizabeth in tow, carrying some shopping bags. She began to hum to herself as she unpacked the shopping.

"Not long till Christmas, Mummy!" Elizabeth said excitedly. "Only two more sleeps!"

Sally smiled and turned to her youngest child, "Its exciting isn't it? I wonder what Santa will bring you?"

"I hope he brings me a pony!" Elizabeth said with anticipation and a grin. She had been wanting one for months and months.

At that moment Nick came into the house, "Oh good you're home. We need to discuss something."

Sally looked up at Nick, "Sounds serious." She turned to Elizabeth, "Libby, why don't you go and see what Harrison's up to?"

"Do I have to?" whined Elizabeth.

Nick crouched down in front of his daughter and brushed a strand of loose hair behind her ear, "Kiddo you gotta remember that Santa know's when you've been bad and good."

"Oh yeah!" Recalled Elizabeth. And then she was gone in an instant. The thought of not getting a pony made her move as fast as her legs could carry her.

"That was smooth," Sally laughed. "Now what did you want to talk about?"

Nick took in a deep breath before saying, "Tess is back in town."

"Oh," Sally stared at Nick. "Well why?...Why is she here, Nick? What does she want?"

"She wants to spend Christmas with Alex and BOM," Explained Nick. "We're gonna have to rethink our plans."

"She wants you back," Sally stated bluntly. "That's why she's here."

"Come on Sal," Nick moved towards his wife and took her hands. "We both know that Tess doesn't work like that."

"Then why is she here?"

"Because she wants a family Christmas. It's nothing more than that..."

Sally turned away from Nick, her blood boiled, "So because Tess decides to blow into town unannounced, at the last minute, you and I have to change our Christmas plans?"

"Well what else can we do, Sal?" Nick asked. He couldn't imagine them all sitting around a table being merry.

Sally turned back to Nick, "We're still going," She announced. "We're all grown adults. I'm sure we can get through one day together."

Nick stared at his wife in disbelief. She wasn't serious was she? It was a recipe for disaster.

"It'll be alright Nick," Sally said, patting his hand. "I won't break out the claws or anything."

------------------------


	15. I'll Stand By You

**History Repeated - Part 15: I'll Stand By You**

The next morning Tess began to pull her clothes out of the wardrobe. She'd hardly been unpacked for 24 hours, but she didn't care. If Alex wanted to play the good Samaritan then he could, she wouldn't stop him. But she wasn't going to stick around and watch it happen. If Nick was going to find out the truth, she'd rather it be while she wasn't around.

"So you're heading back to the city then?" Alex asked, coming into her room.

Tess turned to face Alex and met his gaze, "You haven't really given me a choice Alex."

"I'm not forcing you outa here, you're walking on your own Tess," Alex stated.

"Why can't you just support me?" Tess asked him. If Alex answered one question, she wanted it to be that one. He'd always been there for her in the past, what was so different now?.

Alex sighed, "I'm trying to support you as best I can Tess, but Nick's my brother. What would you do if you were me?"

Tess shuddered as the question ran through her mind and the answer hit her hard. She'd do exactly what Alex was doing if their roles were reversed.

"You'd do the same," Alex said as he noticed her reaction. "Tess you need help. You can't do this on your own," Alex stated the facts as they came to mind. "And this kid needs a father, what are you gonna do about that?"

"Well you're good with kids Alex" Tess said half jokingly.

"Oh yeah, and people are really gonna believe that I'm its father!" Sarcasm dripped off Alex's tongue. "Or do you forget what happened last time a McLeod tried to pull this sorta thing?"

"No I didn't mean that... I Just...Alex please," Tess whispered as she moved towards him. "Please... just understand where I'm coming from here. I love Nick too much to hurt him."

There was a long silence as Alex stared down into those beautiful eyes of hers. She was pleading for him to do this one thing for her. He'd never seen her like this before. He'd never seen her look so scared and helpless.

She was pulling his heart to pieces, this girl was. So he merely said, "Well don't just stand there, unpack your stuff," before exiting the room.

He knew that if he hadn't taken that leap and followed his heart, that he would lose Tess' friendship for good. And he didn't want that. Nor did he want her going through this pregnancy on her own.

The time would come when Tess would feel ready, and confidant enough to tell Nick about his child. And when that time was upon them, Alex would be by her side, giving her everything she could. As a mate, and as family, he would stand by her till the end.


	16. Twas The Night Before Christmas

**History Repeated - Part 16: Twas The Night Before Christmas**

Alex put down the phone and headed into the living room where he found Tess and Charlotte putting up the Christmas tree.

"That was Nick," Alex said.

Tess turned instantly. Hearing Nick's name always got her attention pretty quickly. "Oh," She replied. "What did he want?"

"He reckons that mob of his is still comin' over tomorrow"

"How vital," Tess mumbled.

"What was that?" Asked Alex

"Nothing," Answered Tess. "It doesn't matter."

Alex moved towards her, "If it's gonna be too hard for you then-"

"No," Tess interrupted, "I'll be fine... I mean its Christmas isn't it? The season to be jolly, and if we all can't sit down and have a meal together then there's something very wrong."

Alex smiled, "That's the way Tess! The power of positive thinking. It'll be fun!" Alex chuckled. "Hey maybe you and Sal could get into a mud pit and fight it out! I love a bit of mud reselling. Or maybe jelly?"

Tess rolled her eyes and continued with the decorating of the tree, "Shut up Alex." She was silent before she spoke again, "I should go into town and pick up some gifts for them before the shops shut."

"Yeah righto," Nodded Alex. "BOM and I'll finish the tree. Off ya go."

-------------------

Tess had been in town for almost two hours and had picked up presents for the kids and Nick, but for the life of her, she couldn't think of what to get Sally. She was about ready to give up when she noticed a new cosmetics shop at the end of the main street. Tess found a lovely bottle of perfume that she thought Sally may like.

On her way to the ute Tess smacked straight into Nick, almost dropping her shopping bags.

"We really need to stop meeting like this," Nick said smiling down at her.

Tess looked away. She couldn't resist that smile, "Yep. We do." She took a deep breath and looked back up at him, "Listen is Harrison into model airplanes? And Libby... does she like Barbie?"

Nick nodded, "You get Lib a Barbie and she'll topple you over with praise. And yeah Harrison likes anything he can put together."

"Okay good," Tess said letting out a breath. She wasn't that good at shopping for other peoples kids.

"So what did you get me?" Nick asked, trying to peak into Tess' shopping bags.

Tess pulled the bags away, and hid them behind her back. "Nothing really. Socks and undies... really exciting stuff," She told him teasingly.

"Yeah right," Replied Nick. He didn't come down in the last shower. As if Tess would get him something so... standard.

"Well what did you get me?" Tess asked, noticing that he had a bag in his hand.

"I'm not telling you that," Nick chuckled. "And who said I got you anything anyway?"

"Well," Tess said, coking her head to the side with a grin as she read the side of the plastic bag Nick was holding. "I don't think that Sally's really into Gungellan Coffee. In fact I know for a fact that she prefers tea. And everyone who knows me knows that my favorite coffee in the world is Gungellan Coffee."

"It's mine actually," Nick said quickly. "I really like it."

"No you don't," Tess retorted.

"Yeah," Nick responded. "I do."

"Alright," Tess said as she began to walk towards the ute again. She paused and turned around, "I guess I'll find out tomorrow."

"I guess so!" Called Nick.

-----------------


	17. Anything But Jolly

**History Repeated - Part 17: Anything But Jolly**

Tess wiped her mouth and leaned up against the wall. It was 4am and she'd been throwing up for the last ten minutes. She wondered when the morning sickness would let up.

"You right Tess?" Alex stood in the doorway looking in at her.

Tess looked up at him. It was only then that he had noticed the stream of tears sliding down her cheeks. "I don't want to do this on my own," Tess cried.

Alex rushed over to her. Holding her in his arms he told her, "You're not on your own in this Tess. I'm here."

"I know," Tess sobbed as she held Alex tightly and cried into his chest. "And I'm really grateful... I don't know what I'd do without you...But I want Nick here."

Alex rubbed Tess' back in an attempt to give her some sense of comfort. But it didn't seem to work.

"I know what I said Alex," Tess continued. "I know I said that I don't want to wreck his life... but that doesn't mean that I don't want him here and it doesn't mean that I don't want him to know his baby. I do... I want that more than anything in the world Alex."

"I know Tess," Alex whispered, knowing that every word Tess spoke was the truth. Tess didn't need to tell him. He knew.

"I've loved him forever," Tess whispered.

Alex pulled away and brushed the tears from Tess' face, "He's loved you forever too, Tess. I don't think he's ever stopped. He would give you the world if you asked him to."

Tess looked down for a moment before looking up at Alex and saying, "I already had the world when I had Nick. That's all I needed. But he took it all away, Alex. Now there's someone else that I need to think about... what if the baby thinks Nick is the world, just like I did... and then he takes it all away?"

Alex shook his head, "You and I both know that Nick would do the right thing if he knew. He'd love the baby to bits Tess."

Tess looked into Alex's eyes as she continued to pour her heart out to him. "I'm so scared Alex," She whispered. She was ready to give up the 'can do' attitude, and just admit how she felt. She was terrified.

Alex kissed her cheek and pulled her bag into his arms, "It'll be okay Tess... I promise. You'll be alright... with or without Nick."

-----------------------------

Alex entered the kitchen and found Tess cooking up a storm. "Oh yum! Rum balls!" He exclaimed as he saw the dish of them on the table.

Tess slapped at his hand as he attempted to grab one, "Wait till everyone else gets here Alex!"

Alex pouted, "After everything I did for you this morning, Tess"

Tess shook her head and gave in to Alex's antics, "Fine, you can have one, and one only."

Alex flashed a cheeky grin and shoved a rum ball in his mouth. "You call these rum balls? Bit skimpy with the rum, Tess."

"Well if you don't like them, don't eat them," Tess quipped. "Now out," she ordered.

Alex looked down at her, "Alright, I'll be good... I actually came in to see how you were, Tess."

"I'm alright," Tess said softly. "Still feeling a little off in the stomach, but it's not too bad."

"No. I mean how are you?" Tess was avoiding the real question.

She met his eyes, "I'm okay now Alex. It helped talking to you this morning... thank you." She didn't want to dwell on her moment of weakness, but she needed to thank Alex for being her shoulder to cry on.

Alex smiled, "It's nothing. A good ol' cry next to a toilet bowl is the best medicine!"

"Merry Christmas Alex," Tess said before moving in to hug him.

"Merry Christmas Tess," He answered, embracing her small figure.

----------------------

"Hello," Nick's voice echoed through the house.

Alex caught the expression on Tess' face as she heard Nick's voice. "You'll be right," He whispered, giving her shoulder a little squeeze. "The power of positive thinking, remember?"

The power of Alex Ryan, he meant, Tess thought to herself. Where would she be without him? He was her rock. She was so grateful to have him. Without him she would have crumbled.

"In here," Tess called from her position on the couch next to Alex.

As the Ryan clan entered the room, Tess felt a stabbing sensation at her heart. Sally had her arm around Nick's waist and Nick had his draped over her shoulders, whilst the kids were beaming with excitement. They were a picture of a happy family. The picture of love.

"Alex," Sally acknowledged her brother-in-law, her eyes then shifted to Tess. She stared for a moment before finally saying, "Hello Tess. It's been a long time."

"Not that long," Answered Tess. "Well... I guess it has been. Ah have a seat," she rambled.

As the family got comfortable in their various places around the lounge room, another voice boomed through the house, "Ho, Ho, Ho!"

Libby looked up at her mother, "Mummy, it's Santa!" She shrieked with excitment.

"Maybe he's got some presents for you squirt," Said Alex. "Go check it out."

Libby got up and barrelled into the man in the big red suit at the doorway to the room.

"You must be Elizabeth!" Santa exclaimed. "I've been watching you. I've seen you been bad and good."

"I was good most of the year!" Libby exclaimed.

"I know. That's why I got you this. Now I know it's not a real one, but it's all I could manage," He said, handing her a package.

Libby sat down and ripped it open. Inside was a My Little Pony. She laughed in delight.

"Looks like a winner old man," Alex grinned at a disguised Harry.

"Alex, shut up!" Tess hit him across the shoulder with her hand. She didn't want him wrecking the myth for Libby.

"Sorry," Alex said, rubbing his chest. "Time for our pressie's now!"

----------------

Tess this is beautiful," Sally said, sniffing the perfume she had just sprayed herself with. She shoved her wrist under Nick's nose, "Isn't it beautiful Nick?"

Nick just nodded, "Yep."

"I'm glad you like it," Tess said politely. Is this how it was going to be for the entire day? Were they going to tip toe around each other only talking when necessary?

"Nick this is for you," Tess said, handing him his present.

Inside Nick found a top of the range cordless drill.

"I figured you could use a new one since Alex and Stevie always seem to be pinching yours," Tess explained her reasoning behind the gift.

He looked up at her, astonished by the extravagant gift he'd been given, "Socks and undies my foot."

"Yeah well I had to keep you off the scent," Tess smiled as a look passed between the two of them.

Sally glared at Tess. What a gift to give. "That must've cost you a fortune," She said.

Tess looked at Sally, "Yeah well I couldn't really think of much else so I thought I'd go practical."

Alex sensed the tension, "Ah so Nick's got something for you, haven't you Nick?"

Nick nodded and handed Tess her present with a grin.

Tess shook the present at her ear, "Hmmm, I wonder what this is," She said knowing exactly what it was. She could smell the coffee beans from inside the wrapping.

And when she opened it, she had found what she'd expected, Gungallan Coffee.

Tess flashed a smile as a small laugh escaped her, "My favourite."

"There's something else too," Nick said getting up from his seat. "But you gotta go outside to see it."

Sally rolled her eyes. What the hell was Nick up to? He hadn't told her that he'd gotten Tess something else! It must've really been something if Tess had to go outside to see it.

"Alex and I went halves in it," Nick continued as everyone followed him outside.

He led them to where Tess had kept her previous Alpacas before they were sold. Before they were even there Tess heard the familiar noise coming from the shedding.

"Is that what I think it is?" She asked excitedly. She knew the call of an alpaca.

"Yep," Nick and Alex answered in unison.

Tess squealed in delight as she launched herself onto Nick. With all the excitement of the moment, she'd forgotten who's husband he was. When she remembered she instantly backed away.

"Thanks," she said to Nick before she moved towards Alex and hugged him, berrying her head into his chest with shame.

He gave her a little pat on the back, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "We thought we'd kill two birds with one stone. It'll get rid of the foxes and give us something to laugh at as well," He laughed.

Tess whacked him across the chest when she'd recovered from her embarrassment, "Not funny Alex."

"Don't you think that it's a bit extravagant boys?" Harry said exactly what Sally had been thinking. He hadn't intended to sound like a scrooge but he had.

"Get away old man," Alex remarked. "It's christmas."

Sally scrunched up her nose, "I might just go check on the turkey since it's unattended." She wasn't going to stand by and watch them all fuss over the alpaca, Tess' alpaca!

------------------------


	18. 15 Love!

_This is the last of the updates for now but am trying to get some more written up. Hopefully it's not too long of a wait for you._

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**History Repeated - Part 18: 15 Love!**

Nick, Harrison, Alex and Charlotte battled it out on the tennis court. The foursome had decided that a game of tennis was the only way to amuse themselves before Christmas lunch. They had grown tired of being enclosed by the walls of the house which cased in the tension.

"Yours BOM!" Alex called to Charlotte, his partner in crime.

Charlotte bounced across the court determined to strike the ball, and she did. There was no way in hell that she was going to let her uncle Nick and Harrison win.

Harrison tried, but he had missed the ball.

"Good on ya BOM! Wohoo!" Shrieked Tess from the sidelines as she jumped up and down, clapping her hands with a grin. She couldn't help the enthusiasm. Pride was bursting from within.

Watching Charlotte win the third game in a row was like watching Claire. Charlotte had that same streak of determination running through her veins. She wouldn't be beaten. Tess loved that about her niece.

"Show a little compassion for the losers over there, Tess," Alex laughed, motioning towards Nick and Harrison.

"Oh... good game guys," Tess called to Nick and Harrison.

Nick shook his head at her, "We might've won if we didn't have to put up with your cheerleading, Tess. It was a bit distracting."

Nick had meant that as a joke, but the comment hadn't fallen on Tess and Alex' ears as one. He saw Tess' face change. She wasn't an idiot. She'd caught him staring at her many times throughout the game.

Neither Tess or Alex spoke, so Charlotte took it upon herself. "Rematch!" She shouted. She figured if Tess was so distracting they should play again, without her cheerleading attempts. "But Tess you gotta leave since you're so distracting. Not that I think you are! I personally think You're encouraging!."

Tess smiled as Alex chuckled and said, "I don't think so kiddo. We aren't as young as we used to be you know. Me and Nick are stuffed, right Nick?"

Alex looked to his brother who was now standing oddly against the tennis net, "Yeah. My leg's starting to give me grief kids."

Disappointment flashed across both Harrison and Charlotte's faces. The pair still had heaps of energy to burn.

"Aunty Tess, why don't you and Sally have a go?" Charlotte asked.

Tess shivered at the thought, "I don't think so. I've gotta do the dishes and-"

"I'd love to," Sally said, joining the group.

"Come on Tess," Harrison spoke up for the first time. "Don't be a party pooper."

"I'm not a party pooper!" Tess exclaimed. Never in her life had she been called a party pooper! She'd always been told she was the life of the party.

"Well play," Said Harrison, knowing he'd wound her up. He held out his fathers tennis racket to her.

Tess stared down at it as if it was covered in cooties. Nick had been holding that racket only moments ago.

"Use this one," Alex interrupted, handing Tess his racket. "It's good luck."

Tess looked up at him and smiled. Was this man a mind reader or what? "Thanks. But I've got the perfect one... I'll just go get it. Won't be long Sally."

--------------------

Tess rummaged through the shed and smiled when she saw the tennis racket she had been searching for, "Aha!." It was Claire's old racket. She figured she may need a little help from up above to beat Sally. Sally was perfect at everything else, so why not add tennis to the list?

She jumped as she felt a hand grip her arm. Spinning around, she found Nick. "What are you doing?" She asked.

Nick's eyes were burning into hers, "To tell you the truth, I don't know."

Tess wanted to back away when she realised what Nick was doing, but she couldn't and she didn't. She let his lips fall on hers.

What was the point anymore? She thought to herself as the kiss deepened. If she really wanted to back away from Nick, she would have. She wanted him to kiss her.

Tess pulled away slowly. As Nick's hands rested on her shoulders, she looked up at him. For a moment they were in a world of their own. But suddenly Tess shot back to reality and made her way out of the shed without a word.

------------------------

"Sorry," Tess apologised as she found herself back at the tennis court, "I had some trouble finding it." She held up the racket for everyone to see.

"Ah," Alex grinned. "So that's your secret weapon."

"It looks old and grubby to me," Charlotte commented about the racket as Nick arrived.

"Well that's because it is," Tess snapped at Charlotte unintentionally.

Alex cleared his throat, "It was your Mother's tennis racket BOM. It's been piling up dust in the shed for yonks. Anyway, lets get on with the game ladies"

------------------

Tess was slamming the ball around the court like there was no tomorrow. She was frustrated about everything and figured the best place to get rid of her anger was on the court.

Tess was frustrated that she had spent most of the day watching Sally drape herself all over Nick. She was trying to rub her happy marriage in Tess' face!

But if it was so happy, then why had Nick kissed her?

Tess didn't know what she was doing anymore. Her head was spinning with thoughts and possible explanations. Maybe Nick had just had a few too many beers? Tess scrunched up her nose, in all the time she'd known Nick, he'd never been so drunk that he didn't know what he was doing. She doubted that the two beers that she'd seen Nick have would've altered his thinking.

Nick defiantly knew what he was doing when he kissed her.

"You wanna take it easy, Tess?" Sally shouted across the court as she picked up the ball she had missed by a mile.

Tess shook her head at Sally, "Giving up already Sally?"

"No," Answered an annoyed Sally. "I just don't think you're being very fair."

Fair? What was fair in love and war? Tess thought to herself. And what was fair in tennis? She had stuck to all the rules! If Sally couldn't hack it then tough cookies!

"Fair?" Tess repeated as her temper rose. She'd had just about enough of Sally as she could take for the day. "If you want fair, maybe you should get Libby out here to play against you! I haven't broken any of the rules here, thank you very much, Sally!"

Sally shook her head in frustration as she glared at Tess, "Haven't you!"

Alex looked at Nick, before getting out of his seat. He knew what was happening. The tennis competition had gone out the window long ago. The two women were now arguing about his brother. He could've kicked himself for letting the pair loose on a tennis court together. It was a recipe for disaster.

"Ladies, ladies," Alex said, taking the racket from Tess' hands. "I think it's time to retire for some refreshments since we can't seem to get through a game of tennis without bickering."

"Alex!" Tess went after him as he headed towards the house with her tennis racket. "We aren't finished! The game is no where near over!"

"Oh yes it is, Tess," He continued walking. "As of now tennis is banned."

Tess didn't have the strength to keep up with Alex's fast pace, nor did she have the strength to argue. She was in a rotten mood now.

Sally brushed past Tess on the way to the house, "We'll have to do this again some time."

The sarcastic comment almost got a reply, but Tess held it back. She didn't want to add anymore fuel to the fire.

As Sally caught up to Alex, Nick approached Tess. "Tess can we talk?" He asked her.

Tess shook her head and sighed, "Nick please-"

"Come on," He whispered, taking her by the arm and leading her to the stables.

-----------------------------

"I don't think this is all that vital Nick," Tess said as they stood in the stables together.

"Yeah well I do," Nick replied. "I can't stop thinking about you Tess."

Tess shook her head, "Don't Nick. Please. I don't want to hear it."

"I've tried with Sally, I really have. And I thought that I could do it, that I could convince myself that I was doing the right thing... but I can't Tess..." Nick told her, before whispering, "I love you."

Tess looked down at her feet as she digested what was just said. What was she meant to say to that?

"I love you Tess," Nick repeated for emphasis. He needed Tess to believe what he was saying wasn't just a fad.

Tess finally looked up at him. "What am I supposed to do with that, Nick?" She asked him.

"I don't know," He replied. "But I needed to tell you. I'm sick of pretending, Tess."

"What about Sally?"

"Things with Sally haven't been good for a long time Tess," Nick explained.

Nick reached out to touch her cheek, but Tess flinched away "I have to go and serve up lunch," She said, making a hasty exit. This was all too much for her.

------------------------


	19. That Christmas Cheer

**_I have finished this fic now, it is just a matter of posting the parts here :D. Be patient my pretties!_**

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**History Repeated - Part 19: That Christmas Cheer.**

"Where did you get to?" Alex asked Tess as she came into the house flustered. They stood in the kitchen alone.

"Oh..." She trailed off as she tried to think of an excuse, "I was just checking on the horses, they were kicking up a bit of a stink. Maybe it's all the commotion, I dunno"

But Alex knew better, "Oh right, and you needed Nick's help with that did you?" he said, knowing Tess wasn't being entirely truthful with him.

"Alex, don't start on me, alright. I'm not in the mood," Tess warned as she took the turkey out of the oven. She'd had enough of christmas already.

"Help me serve up, will you?" It was more an instruction than a question from Tess.

Alex just nodded and did as he was told. He wasn't going to push things with Tess today.

----------------------

Everyone sat in silence as they ate. The atmosphere wasn't very pleasant. Every so often Alex caught a glimpse of Sally glaring at Tess and vice versa.

Alex cleared his throat and directed a question at Tess in an effort to get some kind of conversation started within the group, "So how is the café going these days Tess?"

Tess looked up at him, "Fine. Business is booming. I guess people still love the place"

"It must be booming if you can afford to buy a drill for someone you have had nothing to do with for years," Sally spoke up bitterly.

Tess threw her fork down onto her empty plate. Her temper was beginning to flare, and her blood pressure beginning to rise. She needed to get out of there before she said something that she would regret. She needed to get out of there before she got even more agitated - it wasn't good for her or the baby.

"Who's for seconds?" She asked, picking up her plate, ignoring Sally's comment.

-------------

In the kitchen Tess piled more food onto everyone's plates. She wanted the time alone to calm down, but it just wasn't working. She couldn't get Sally out of her mind, when had that woman turned into such a bitch?

And then there was Nick. Everything he had done that day was getting to Tess. He was under her skin now and she didn't have a clue what to do. Things were so messy.

Tess just wanted to crawl under a rock and hide there for the rest of eternity.

------------

Tess came back into the room looking a little more relaxed. She'd managed to calm down somewhat before returning to the dining room.

She plonked Sally's plate down in front of her, refraining herself from spilling it on the woman's lap.

"I'll get the rest of the plates," Alex declared, standing up and moving into the kitchen.

Tess soon followed after him.

"Don't let her get to you," Alex could see how fired up Sally got Tess - and Sally knew it too!

"I want her out of here, Alex," Tess demanded, "I want them all out of here."

Tess zoomed back into the dining room ahead of Alex, placing various plates in front of various people at the table.

Silence was again upon them as they ate their second serving of Christmas lunch, and it stayed silent till well after desert was done with.

Tess was on her way back into the kitchen, when Alex called out to her, causing her to pause in the dining room doorway.

"Grab the rum balls while you're there, would ya?"

Tess frowned at him, "Aren't you full yet, Alex?"

"Bottomless pit, Tess," Was his reply.

Laughter could be heard coming from Harrison and Libby. It was just the thing to lighten the atmosphere - children's laughter always was.

The entire group of adults turned, and looked at the two children.

"What's so funny?" Alex asked.

Libby could barely get the words out without laughing, "Tess is under the mistletoe. You have to give her a kiss now, Uncle Alex!"

He rolled his eyes, "Oh alright."

Getting up, Alex strode over to Tess and planted a kiss on Tess' cheek. A giggle escaped her mouth as he did so.

"A real kiss," Libby demanded, "Like mummy and daddy's kisses."

Alex and Tess looked at each other with goofy grins. Libby was a real character!

"Alright," In one swift motion, Alex took hold of Tess. Dipping her in his arms, he kissed her passionately.

Pulling away, Tess couldn't stop laughing.

Alex pulled Tess upright again, bent down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, with a chuckle.

"I reckon that would have woken sleeping beauty up!" Tess laughed.


	20. A Little Bit Dangerous

**History Repeated Part 20: A Little Bit Dangerous**

Tess' laughter filled the room. She hadn't stopped laughing since Alex had kissed her underneath the mistletoe.

Alex had brought out the Christmas bon-bons, and was reading out the lame jokes that came with them, "Tess, what's worse than when it's raining cat's and dongs?"

Tess shook her head as a grin played on her face, "I dunno, what?"

Alex laughed out loud to himself as he looked down at the answer, "When it's hailing taxi's."

Tess burst into a fit of laughter, as did Libby, Harrison, and Charlotte. The joke was hilariously pathetic to all of them.

"That's bad, Alex," Tess giggled hysterically.

Nick and Sally remained quiet in their seats, just observing the going on's around them. Both were almost ready to leave - both were sick of the charade.

"Okay, another one," Alex stopped laughing long enough to read out the next joke that he had, "What will you get if all the cars in the USA are red?"

"Ummm..." Tess didn't have a clue.

"A red carnation," Alex laughed loudly, causing Tess and the kids to follow. Out of all the jokes that Alex had read out, that was by far the funniest.

The kids laughter had eventually died down, but Tess couldn't stop. Tears began to leek from her eyes from laughing so hard. The sight of Tess kept Alex laughing as well.

"Oh please," Nick mumbled, "It wasn't that funny, guys"

Between laughs, Alex said, "You're just losing your sense of humor in your old age, Nick"

-----------

Tess had gone upstairs to escape anymore of Alex's bad jokes. She needed a bit of a breather.

Staring into the bathroom mirror she that there was a much happier person staring back at her. She wasn't looking at all like the woman that had appeared there earlier that morning.

She smiled and sighed, "Thanks Alex"

Leaving the bathroom, Tess collided with Nick.

Looking up at him she asked, "Are you following me?"

"Tess we-"

She put her hand up to silence him. This thing between them had gone on for far too long.

"No we can't talk about us, because there is no us, Nick... and you really need to accept that there won't be an us, again"

He looked at her, stunned. The way she had kissed him earlier... it had given him hope.

"Tess if you give me time-"

She shook her head, cutting him off, "You're not listening, Nick! I don't want to be with you. And would you please stop following me around!" With that, Tess marched into the master bedroom, closing the door behind her.

She didn't like being so abrupt with Nick, but she needed to be. He had to understand where he stood. Their relationship could never work, which is why, in the past it failed. Tess couldn't go down that road again.

Tess knew that those feelings for Nick would fade with time, just as they did before.

---------------

"Why don't you just leave her alone, mate?" Alex grilled his brother as they both pecked at leftovers in the kitchen.

"And why don't you mind your own business?" Nick snapped. He wasn't in the mood for Alex's advice.

"She doesn't want to be with you, mate. Stop pushing her," Alex warned.

---------------

Sally barged into Tess' room, "I know what you're trying to do, Tess"

Tess turned from her place at the dressing table, "Come right in, Sally"

Tess thought it was highly rude that Sally hadn't even knocked.

"So, what is it I'm trying to do?" Tess asked, looking over at Sally.

"You came back here to get Nick back, didn't you?"

Tess rolled her eyes and let a small laugh escape her mouth, "I came back to spend Christmas with my family, Sally."

"No, you didn't! Oh I can see what you're doing. You're using Alex to make Nick jealous!"

"You know what, Sally?" Tess marched up to the woman, "If I wanted Nick back, I would've had him weeks ago! I wouldn't need to come back here! He was quite open with me about his feelings"

"You're lying!" Sally snarled

"Am I?" Tess asked, pushing past Sally and moving out towards the stairs.

Sally caught up to Tess, grabbing hold of her arm, "Don't you dare walk away from me, Tess"

Tess glared at Sally, "Or what?"

Tess attempted to escape Sally's tight grasp. As she did so, her footing was lost and she tumbled down the stairs. She landed hard on the landing with a thud.

Alex and Nick both dropped the food they were eating at the sound of the tumble and rushed over to the stairs.

"Tess?" Alex hovered over Tess, "Tess can you hear me?"

He glanced up at his sister-in-law, she was still at the top of the stairs, "Bloody hell, Sally!"

Sally moved down the stairs and stood on the landing, looking down at Tess, "Is she hokay?"

Tess opened her eyes, "Fine," She answered.

She looked up at Alex. Worry was written all over the man's face. But there was anger there too.

"Are you hurt? Are you in any pain Tess?" He asked.

Her hand was resting protectively over her stomach, a gesture that only Alex could understand, "I just... I think I just hurt my wrist"

"Are you sure that's all?" Alex asked, still worried.

"Alex," Tess sat up and laid her hand on his, "I'm okay."


	21. Arms Of An Angel

**History Repeated Part 21: Arms of An Angel**

Tess could hear the raised voices downstairs. She'd managed to slip away from the group without anyone even noticing. They were all too busy playing the blame game.

She held her stomach as she clutched the end of the bed. The pain was unbearable, and it had been since the fall. She'd hid it well though - she had to. She couldn't run the risk of anyone finding out about the baby - not yet anyway.

Tess had managed to make it to the bathroom and back. To her relief she wasn't bleeding. But the cramping was getting worse.

She crumpled to the floor in agony - not even able to make it to the bed.

Tapping could be heard at the door, "Tess, I got rid of them at long last," Alex called.

Tess couldn't move or speak. She could only clutch at her stomach and hope that Alex would come in and help.

"It took forever but their gone," He continued.

Alex tapped on the door again. He'd only just realised he'd been having a one sided conversation, "Tess? Are you alright?"

When there was no reply and only a soft whimper, Alex rushed in. The sight which met him was frightening.

"Oh my god, Tess!" He rushed over to the crumpled Tess, picked her up and moved her onto the bed.

As Tess' face mirrored agony, he whispered, "I'm sorry," knowing that he had caused more pain with the move.

Quickly grabbing the phone from beside the bed he called for a doctor.

"Is she bleeding?" Dr Cunningham asked Alex

Alex shook his head frantically, "No... no, she's not bleeding."

"Alright I'm going to get someone to fly me out there, Alex - you just keep Tess calm alright? At the first sign of bleeding call me"

------------

Alex had Tess in his arms on the bed. It was almost as though Tess was a child that he was rocking to sleep. She was so vulnerable, and he felt as though he had to protect her.

The cramping had eased now, and all that could be heard were Tess' soft sobs of worry.

"The doc will be here soon, Tess... you'll be okay," He told her, moving the loose hair away from her face.

She looked up at him, "Promise?"

He hesitated, but answered, "I promise."

Tess nodded as her hands moved over her stomach. Alex brought his hand to rest on her stomach too. The pair laid that way until the doctor arrived.


	22. Loving Enough To Leave

**History Repeated Part 22: Loving Enough To Leave**

Nick and Sally hadn't said a word to each other since leaving Drovers. Both were tired and cranky.

Alex had gone off at Sally for pushing things too far with Tess, and Sally had gone off at Alex for defending Tess.

It was all a big mess. Sally believed that Alex's loyalty was misplaced.

She looked over to her husband as he sat on the couch with the laptop, "Alex thinks I pushed Tess down those stairs."

Nick stopped what he was doing and looked up at his wife as she continued.

"And I could have too Nick - god knows I wanted too... She told me some things..."

"What sort of things?" Asked Nick. Sally didn't often get angry - she was a pretty tolerant person... But when it came to Tess, things were never rosy.

"I asked if she had come back here for you. Nick, I was so... I probably should have gone about it in a different way, but I needed to know. I guess I said some things that I shouldn't have... Nick, she said that you made it clear how you felt about her... when you were in the city."

Nick shook his head and stood up. He didn't know what to say. His head was all over the place now. He didn't know up from down, and he didn't know what his heart was telling him. The reality of the situation was that his heart belonged to both Tess and Sally.

"You were ready to leave weren't you?" She asked softly.

There was no response from Nick. He couldn't bear to answer the question.

Sally looked away, knowing the answer even though it hadn't even come from Nick's lips.

"She turned you down, so you came home," Sally would have laughed at the situation if she wasn't the one involved.

"Sally-"

Sally turned back to Nick, shaking her head. She was calm and collected as she realised what had been the case for years, "There isn't any need to explain. I know you love her - that you've always loved her. And I know you love me too... But Nick, I can't handle you going back and forth like this anymore. I can't live like this, and I won't have the kids live like this either."

Nick knew what was coming. Sally was making a decision. Sally was being the brave one and doing what they both knew had to be done.

"This marriage has always had three people in it, Nick. Even though Tess hasn't been around, she's always been stuck between the two of us. I think we need time apart."


	23. Space They Cannot Touch

**History Repeated Part 23: Space They Cannot Touch**

The doctor had been and gone. Tess was resting in bed with Alex sitting by her side.

The baby was doing fine - its heartbeat was strong. But Tess had to take it easy. The days stress had gotten the better of her, and the fall had contributed to the distress that her and her unborn child had been in.

"I was really scared today, Alex," Tess looked across at him, emotion written all over her pale face.

"Me too," He admitted, opening up to his dear friend, "When I saw you on the floor like that... you scared the bajeeba's outa me, Tess."

Tess' hands were resting on her stomach. It had become a habit of late. It was as though she was trying to shield the baby from anymore harm.

"Alex," Tess took a deep breath, "Where do you see yourself in two years time?"

"Two years time? I reckon in two years I'll be an Uncle. The little bloke will be laughing his head off while I've got you over my shoulder, spinning you round and round and round, until you throw up all over the place!"

Tess laughed, "Can I take the option of throwing up now? Just the thought of spinning is making me feel sick. Come closer and I'll throw up on you, Alex"

Alex scrunched up his nose at the thought. He'd better answer the question properly before Tess made that threat a reality, "Alright... in two years time I reckon I might be ready to settle down. Why do you ask, anyway?"

Tess looked across at him, "Because I don't know any of that anymore Alex... my life is such a mess..."

Tess was lost in life now. This baby had changed everything for her. She felt as though she wasn't seeing her life's path as clearly as she once was able to. She didn't know which way she was going anymore.

Alex's arm wrapped around Tess, pulling her in closer towards him, "I know where you'll be."

"Where, Alex?" Tess was desperate for an answer. She needed some sort of hope for the future. Hope that she would finally get what she so desperately craved from life.

"You'll be so happy," He whispered, stroking her golden hair, "Happier than you'd ever thought you could be."

"Really?" Tess was so desperate to believe Alex. She couldn't see it from her position yet. She felt like she was in a never-ending tunnel of emotional pain.

"And you'll feel so loved and secure... you won't be scared anymore, Tess, and you'll have what you've always wanted," Alex told her softly.

"Are you sure that's what you see, Alex?"

"Look I'll give Moira a call in the morning if ya don't believe me," Alex laughed, "I'll get her to do a tarot reading for ya."

Tess giggled, pulling at one of his cheeks, "Of course I believe you."

A knock sounded through the room. Alex grinned, "Guess who?"

"Come in BOM," Tess called.

Charlotte entered the room and immediately launched into conversation, "No wonder I couldn't find you, Uncle Alex! What are you doing in here, anyway?"

Alex laughed at the young girl. Sometimes he thought that her whole world would fall apart without him in it. She loved him to bits, and he loved her just as much.

"I was keeping Tess company. She's not feeling the best, mate"

Charlotte climbed into bed next to Alex, which positioned him in between the two McLeod's, "Well I was lonely," she whined.

Both Alex and Tess' laughter echoed through the room. It wasn't often that Charlotte did the whining thing, but when she did, it always made them laugh.

Once the laughter had died down, Charlotte looked at her aunty. She could see the change in the woman - she was so very pale, "You look awful, Aunty Tess."

Tess sighed, "Yeah I feel pretty awful too, Charlotte."

"Is it because Sally pushed you down the stairs?" The young girl quizzed.

Tess sat up a little, shaking her head, "Darling, Sally didn't push me down the stairs, I fell."

"But you were arguing-"

"Yes... we were arguing, but she didn't push me, okay? I lost my footing, that's how I fell," Tess explained.

Charlotte crossed her arms, "She's still a cow," She announced, "She was being nasty to you all day. I don't even know why the Ryan's came! They just made the day miserable for everyone else! That hissy fit that Sally threw on the tennis court was just ridiculous!."

It amazed Tess how one moment Charlotte could mirror her, and how in an instant her personality could change to mirror Claire's.

"I think we all agree on that one, BOM," Alex laughed, patting the young girl on her leg, "Bah humbug!"

Charlotte yawned, and announced, "Well I'm off to bed. I'm so tired!"

She leaned over and gave Alex a kiss on the cheek, then Tess, "Night you guys."

"Night," They both replied as Charlotte exited the room, closing the door behind her.

Alex pulled Tess in for a hug,"I better make a move too"

Tess' hand came to Alex's, "Can you stay please, Alex? If you're here I won't worry so much."

Her eyes were pleading at him, so how could he say no. He knew exactly how vulnerable she was, and how scared she was for the baby. Tess still wasn't out of the woods, and he knew that if he did as she asked, she would recover faster and easier.

"I haven't had an invite to sleep in your bed for years Tess! How could I ever say no to that?"

"So is that a yes, then?" Tess asked.

Alex wrapped his other arm around Tess, pulling her down with him so that they were under the covers, "What do you reckon?"

Tess smiled and rested against his chest, knowing that she was one of the luckiest women in the world to have Alex by her side. She couldn't have asked for a better friend to help see her through all that she had been through.

"Thank you, Alex," She whispered, kissing him softly on the cheek.

Snuggling into his warm arms, Tess drifted off to sleep.

As Alex watched her sleep in his arms he knew that the one thing that Nick would never be able to destroy was the relationship between himself and Tess. And he was thankful that Tess would always have that. They shared a bond that no-one could break.

It was Alex and Tess against the world.


	24. Every Now & Then I Fall Apart

**History Repeated Part 24: Every Now & Then I Fall Apart**

Tess' eye lids flew open in a panic. Sweat was dripping from her and her heart was beating eratically. She'd just had a dream. An awful dream.

Alex woke from his slumber instantly, sensing her distress, "What is it, Tess?"

Tess flew out of bed, towards the door, "I have to pack... I have to-"

"Pack?" Alex flew out after her, flicking the lamp on.

Blocking her way to the door he held her steady by the shoulders. It was only then that he saw the mass of tears flooding down her cheeks.

"Tess it's 2am," He told her.

"Alex I can't stay anymore-"

"Tess, listen to me," Alex interrupted, "It's 2am. It's dark, and there are roo's on the roads."

Tess shook her head frantically, only concerned with the dream, "I have to go. I-"

"You need to calm down," Alex instructed as his hands cupped her tear strained face. "Calm down, and tell me what's brought this on."

Tess took several deep breaths, before she finally began to think straight, "I had a dream, Alex. I was on the roof and the baby was crying... I couldn't get to him. I tried so hard to get to him... and when I did," She looked up into his concerned face, "It was a doll. Alex it's a sign. Something will happen-"

Alex ran his hands along her shoulders in an effort to comfort Tess, "I know how you feel about these signs of yours, Tess, but now isn't the time to be going anywhere. If you still feel the same way in the morning, I'll drive you back to Melbourne myself. But you're not going now, not with the roads the way they are, and not in the state you're in, right?"

"Alex-"

"Right?" He asked again, cutting her off.

Tess nodded, "Right," She answered.

Alex wiped Tess' tears away with the tender pads of his thumbs before leading her back to the sanctuary of the bed. He was all the support she had in the world, and there was no way in hell he was gonna let her head back into the world on her own in the state she was in.

He rubbed her back softly, gradually bringing sleep to both of them.


	25. Who's Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?

**History Repeated 25 Who's Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?**

Alex watched as Tess slept in his arms. He'd been awake for almost an hour just lying there, watching Tess, thinking.

She looked at peace when she was asleep, and that satisfied him to no end. He was so glad that she could escape the torment of the real world and go to a better place, even if it was only for a little while.

There had been no more nightmares since the last, and for that Alex was thankful.

She began to stir, her eyelids eventually flicking open to meet Alex's soft gaze. She smiled at the sight of him, "Still here?"

"Yeah. The others can handle the work," He told her.

Tess smiled at Alex's willingness to look after her. He was wonderful to her despite the fact that she was asking him to keep a life changing secret from his own brother.

"So how are you feeling?" Alex asked the obvious question. He wondered if her state of mind had improved after time to settle down.

She looked away, "I still feel a bit off in the stomach... the cramps have stopped though, Alex. And yes, I still want to go home... that dream was too real... I can't ignore it."

"Tess," Alex turned her to look at him, his hand stroking her soft, pale cheek, "This is home, remember?"

"Not anymore, Alex, it hasn't been home for a long time. All I feel is pain when I'm here"

"Drovers isn't the source of the pain though, that brother of mine is. You gotta remember the difference," He explained, stroking her hair. He needed to remind her where her heart was, where her soul was.

Tess was silent, so Alex continued, "You know he doesn't deserve your love. He's never deserved it... the things he's put you through..."

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for being here. Thank you for picking up the pieces every time I shatter... I've never had anyone look out for me the way you do," She whispered, meeting his eyes, "No matter what, you're always there for me... I mean you're keeping this enormous secret from Nick for me... Thank you..."

"It's good to know I'm good for something," He laughed, rubbing her shoulder.

"Would I make this moment to soppy if I asked for a hug?" Tess asked softly.

"Well just as long as you don't go spreading the word that I'm an old softie, right? And no crying!"

Tess laughed as she moved into Alex's arms and rested against his warm chest. He enveloped her tightly, still wanting to protect her from everything that could harm her in the world.

A small sob escaped Tess before she could stop it.

Alex chuckled, "You've got to be joking."

Tess sobbed again, burying her face in his shirt with shame, "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it," She laughed through her tears, wrapping her arms around him more tightly, "You're just so great."

Alex rolled his eyes at her emotional state. Running his hands over her back, he whispered "You're not so bad yourself."

For a moment they rested, holding each other, happy to be somewhere that wasn't the real world. But they were both brought back to reality with an awful thud with a knock at the door, and a comment from Nick, "So this is what it's come to? You're sleeping with him because you want to get back at me"

Tess struggled out of Alex's arms and looked at Nick, bewildered, "Nick this-"

"Oh it never is what it seems, is it?" Nick puffed

"Mate you need a reality check," Alex got out of the bed, moving towards his brother.

"If anyone needs a reality check it's you, Alex!" Nick fired back, "You don't mind being with her knowing that I have as well?"

Alex shook his head in disgust, "Nick shut up, would ya!"

"I should have expected this from both of you," He looked over at Tess, "Especially you. Thank god we don't have another brother for you to bed! Every time I think we're getting somewhere you go off and screw someone else!"

Tess shot out of bed, emotion rising through her body, ready to flood the room.

"You take that back, Nick. Things aren't always what they seem," Alex was fired up now.

"Take it back!" he bellowed once more.

"Why the hell should I?" Nick questioned, "I put lost my marriage over you, Tess! I thought you were worth it!"

Alex shook his head, and before he knew it his fist was connecting with Nick's face. The bastard had no one to blame but himself for the mess he was in.

As Nick fell to the floor, Alex pounced, going in for more.

Nick was up, pulling Alex off the floor, ready to swing.

"Nick stop it!" Tess tried to come between them. The men were so fired up that Tess got caught up in their tangled mess and was sent flying back into the wall behind her.

She slammed against it hard.

Sliding down to the floor she gripped her stomach tightly.

Alex managed to break away from Nick almost instantly.

Tess looked up at him. That same look of terror that he saw the night before had returned to her face.

Tears began to fall, pain began to strike.

"No," Alex shook his head in utter shock, "Not again"

Tess sobbed, clutching at her stomach in terror and in pain, "Alex, I'm bleeding."

Alex felt his heart breaking as he heard her shaky voice repeat those words again, "I'm bleeding."


	26. The Longest Hour

**History Repeated Part 26: The Longest Hour**

Nick sat in silence at the hospital, his mind swirling. He had pieced together what was going on, and came to conclusions about the rest.

He was angry. Angry that no one had thought to tell him he was expecting another child, angry that he would have to grieve before he had even excepted the situation. But did he even have the right to bear the anger he felt?

Nick looked to his brother who was seated across from him. Alex was the image of fury. The fury was on his face, it was in his eyes - he looked about ready to explode.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me, Alex?" Nick's words shot out more hostile than he intended. But the man needed answers.

Alex glared at his brother, wanting to leap at him, "Because I was begged not to."

"Why?" Nick pressed.

Alex was silent, then said what was really on his mind, "Because you're a waste of space, Nick. And I guess Tess knew that before I did."

Nick shook his head ignoring his brothers painful words, "I know how Tess feels about me"

"Yeah, and unfortunately she can't switch her feelings off like a tap. She knows you're bad for her. She's been mucked around by you so much, and for so long that she can't tell which way's up anymore! Do you have any idea of the damage you've done to that girl over the years? I swear to god Nick, if anything happens to this kid and Tess ends up hurt again I'll-"

"Yeah, Alex, I get the picture," Nick grunted, not wanting to hear anymore.

The two men resumed their silences, staring down the other occasionally.

Alex was sick to death of the waiting. It had been one of the longest hours of his life. He just wanted to see Tess, see that she was alright... make sure the baby was alright. The waiting was killing him.

As if on cue, a nurse popped into the waiting room, "Mr Ryan."

Both Ryan men looked up expectantly.

"Alex," The nurse clarified, "We've managed to settle Tess down now. The radiologist is about ready to perform the ultrasound... she wants you to be present."

Alex stood up and followed the nurse away, leaving a hurt Nick on his own in the now empty room.


	27. And The World Came Tumbling Down

**History Repeated Part 27: And The World Came Tumbling Down**

Alex looked down at Tess. She hadn't spoken a word since the doctors had left the room. But what would you say in a situation like this? Alex himself didn't even know what to say.

Sitting on the bed, Alex took her hand - it was a motion which brought Tess back to reality.

She met Alex's eyes for an instant before turning away from them. His eyes were dark, full of sadness, and of course regret. She couldn't stand to look into them any longer.

"Tess," Alex's voice pierced through her soul, as his hand was brought up to her cheek.

A sob escaped Tess, and she crumbled into Alex's waiting arms. She was trembling as her heart broke right there and then.

Tess' sobs were echoing, echoing through the room, and through Alex's head. He knew all he could do was hold her in his arms when he so desperately wanted to do more.

"I'm so sorry," His shaky voice whispered, as his own tears began to fell, "I'm sorry."

--------

Alex left the room after Tess had been sedated by one of the nurses.

His heart was aching for her, but at the same time it was filled with anger. He was angry at himself for starting the fight with Nick, angry at Nick for provoking him in the first place, and angry at the world for dealing Tess another crap hand of cards.

He couldn't understand how life could be so cruel to such a wonderful person. Tess had been through the mill. He wondered how much more pain she could endure in life.

Heading down the corridor he saw his mother and Nick. They both stood up upon seeing him.

Moving closer anger took hold of him and he punched Nick hard, leaving him to fall in a heap like a sack of potato's, as he walked away without a word.

Drawing closer to the hospitals exit he heard his mother fussing over his injured brother.

Tess' world had come tumbling down around her once again, and there wasn't one thing Alex could do to rebuild it for her.


	28. FINAL: Listen To Your Heart

_Well this is it! The last chapter! But don't worry there is a sequal on its way :D._

_Lee - Did ya like the punch in the last part? hehe._**  
**

**History Repeated Part 28 Final: Listen To Your Heart  
**

Tess woke in the middle of the night. For a moment she'd forgotten where she was and what had happened. Then in an instant it all came rushing back to her. She shut her eyes again, wanting to block it all out. Like so many times before, it didn't work.

Looking around the slightly illuminated room, her eyes fell on Alex. He was in the corner, asleep in a plastic chair. He looked so uncomfortable, hunched over in it.

Again, Tess closed her eyes, squeezing tightly. She couldn't bear it. The pain was unbearable. Her heart was shattering all over again as the memories came flooding back more vivid than the moment before.

She felt a hand on hers. With enormous courage her eyes flicked open. Through the blur of her tears she saw Alex.

Knowing that Tess needed all the comfort in the world, Alex took her in his arms and laid beside her in the hospital bed.

He held her sobbing body until the first rays of sunlight began to poke through the window.

---------

He looked like death on legs when he left her room in the early hours of the morning. Being up most of the night had taken its toll on Alex Ryan.

Moving down the corridor he saw his mother and Nick were still in the waiting room.

"Oh Alex," Liz stood up, rushing over to him, whilst Nick stayed seated, "How's Tess?"

Alex shook his head as his flat reply came, "As you'd expect. She's a wreck."

Liz's hand came to her son's cheek, "Darling you should get some rest. I'll sit with Tess"

Alex was exhausted , so took his mother up on the offer.

Handing him her car keys Liz said, "Now I know you won't go to a motel, so put the seat down in my car and try and get some rest."

----------------------

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Tess," Liz whispered as she took the woman's hand in hers.

"Thank you, Liz," Tess whispered, meeting the older woman's eyes.

Liz sat on the bed beside Tess, still gripping her hand. She wanted to offer some words of comfort, but for the first time in her life found that she was speechless. Seeing Tess so vulnerable had really knocked her.

"But you've suffered a loss too," Tess went on, holding the tears back, "The baby's father... that married man, it was-"

"I know," Liz whispered, patting Tess' hand, "I've always known Tess."

Tess looked away, unable to hold the tears in anymore.

"I know it hurts now, Tess," Liz spoke softly, "But it will get better from here on."

"I hope you're right," Tess whispered, looking back at Liz again, "Because it really hurts, Liz."

Leaning over, the two women embraced. Their relationship had reached a new height.

"It hurts so much," Tess sobbed.

-------------

Nick stared at the white walls around him. He felt sick. Finding out he'd had a child, and losing it in the same day... it was the stuff that nightmares were made of.

He wanted to comfort Tess, but knew Alex was doing that. He knew that she probably wasn't ready to see him yet, anyway.

But he hated doing nothing. He hated being on the outside. But it was his own behavior that had landed him there. If he hadn't been such an idiot and thrown such wild accusations around, they probably wouldn't be where they were that day.

Standing up, he made a decision to visit Tess. He needed to see her, to at least try and explain.

---------

Alex grunted, moving about in the lowered car seat. It was obvious that sleep wasn't going to come easy to him. Too much worry was on his mind.

----------

Liz had left the two of them alone, hoping that her son wouldn't upset Tess anymore than she already was. The girl needed to heal, not receive any deeper gashes to her heart. Liz hoped Nick remembered that.

"Nick, I don't want you here," Tess whispered, thinking perfectly clearly now. She'd made the decision that she had to cut all ties with Nick. The need to make that clear to him was stronger now. She had to listen to her heart, or it would never stop aching. History could not be repeated anymore than it already had been.

"I need to explain..." He was almost pleading.

"Please, would you just leave? All you've ever done is caused me pain, and I can't take anymore of it... It hurts, Nick... it hurts too much to have you in my life."

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen," Nick whispered, his eyes full of pain.

"I know," Tess replied, "But it did happen, Nick"

Nick needed to know one thing, so he asked the question that had been playing on his mind ever since he had found out about his child, "Tess, would you have told me about the baby if this hadn't happened?"

Tess looked away, not able to answer him.

Taking the answer as it was given, Nick silently left the room.

---------

Their paths crossed in the corridor. Alex had given up on sleep, and Nick had just left Tess's room.

"Don't worry, I didn't upset her," Nick got in before Alex could threaten him.

"Keep away from her, Nick," Alex warned as their mother moved towards them, "You leave her alone."

As Nick moved away, Liz took Alex by the arm. Looking up at him concerned, she spoke, "There's something more to this, Alex... What is it?"

Alex took a deep breath and openly whispered to his mother, "I love her, Mum."


End file.
